Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I told him to move out. I said he could get on his feet before he left. I said I'm still willing to work on our marriage but I need him to be out of my face. I was really sick of his abuse and not taking any responsibility for what he did. Well that changed everything. Or did it? Literally the next day the responsibility. And amends came flowing in. He's working really hard to apologize and getting on that responsibility train. I can't help but wonder if this new found responsibility is in direct response to having no job and no place to live. Or maybe its because he doesn't want to break up our family unit? I so badly want to believe this to be true, but then I remember. All the lies. Before the affair I would have 100% believed every word he said, and now I don't know what to believe. I want to, but I don't want to be a chump either. It's all so confusing. Who is this person?
The only safety I find in all this are the boundaries I'm putting into place. The limits. No more bullshit. But my bullshit monitor is forever skewed. I guess I just need time to trust my own gut.
On a side note, I fantasize all the time about kicking the shit out of the whore. I picture just smashing her ugly face on a bar. Mind you I have never hit a soul in my entire life. Annnnd I won't, but I can't get her out of my head. I also never experienced feelings of rage until this happened to me. For the most part the rage has dissipated, but I'm still so angry. I'm really working on letting her go, but I'm not there yet.
I know I know THERAPY!
I can totally relate to ur feeling that your not sure anymore what to believe and what not. Ur gut is messed up as well cause now you will doubt everything.
It is possibly that when you finally stood up and kicked him out tgat it actually opened his eyes and burst his bubble. But sure keep ur guard up. It's indeed also possible he is scared losing it all.
I have no words of wisdom just wanted to say how much of the same feelings and worries we have. It sucks
I'm sure the OM's wife want's to beat down my wife too so I have to consider that fair would be fair. If I were to do that to him then I shouldn't mind my wife taking a beating from the OM's wife, but I digress.
From your story and posts it's probably that he has nowhere to go and no money. Doesn't seem like a guy who cares about the family unit or the sanctity of marriage.
That's kind of the problem I suppose given that he didn't confess, continued to lie, blamed you, and refused to take responsibility. The rational person would say he is playing nice because he wants a roof over his head and food on his plate.
The good thing is that you are aware of his duplicity and will catch him in even small tells.