How long were you two seeing each other ? Noone can say how long it takes for someone to heal or get over it, and it does hurt ,but he was just a boyfriend. Boyfriends and gorlfriends do these things. Not condoning it ,but it happens. Let yourself move on.

We weren't married but we were together 9 years, would have been 10 next wednesday. I didn't want marriage yet until I finished school. I would love to move on but he calls everyday!

For me, I had to try to cut off as much communication with my stbx as possible. It was the only way I could heal. He still calls and riles me up on occasion, but for the most part, I feel much better when I only have limited contact with him. It got to the point where I had to literally ignore his phone calls and his text messages.

Whether it's a husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, infidelity hurts. I am so sorry you are going through this. It does get better and the loneliness does subside.

I agree with momsren here. It does not matter how long you were together, whether it was a boyfriend or a husband, a trust was broken, and the pain cannot be explained to anyone who has not been through it.

I completely relate to what you are saying about friends and family struggling to keep listening to you --- it is only bc/ they want to take away the pain, they cannot, and they get frustrated by their inability to help you heal. It is a way of coping, not that they don't love you or have concern for you at all!

This site is a wonderful venue to find friends who will support you through this time - day or night. I too have drank myself to sleep, cried and pulled back from friends. Not the most productive approach, but we have to forgive ourselves and try to take more healthy approaches.

Meditation, walking, talking on this site, remembering all the wonderful things I do have going for me, and dreaming (yes, dreaming) about a man who will love me the way I deserve to be loved helps me to get through. I know that that can be hard bc/ we all still see what wonderful qualities our exes display, and my ex too won't let me go (even though he has a new woman), but I deserve and you deserve someone who can be faithful. I know I was and it seems you were too! Keep just letting yourself mourn. This pain, in the long run, will make you stronger and better! We are here in the meantime!

Thank you for such wonderful advice!

If you don`t want him to call or text you, tell him. If he still does, ignore it or get a new number. Take control. Four weeks is still early in the recovery. Don`t expect too much of yourself yet, but IMO it`s important to not let yourself go. Stay away from alcohol, it only makes things worse. If you can`t sleep taking a Benadryl really helps. Stop thinking about them together. If you do, imagine a big, red STOP sign and distract yourself. Don`t avoid your friends. Talk to them, but don`t whine. It`s counter- productive and will alienate people, even if they love you.
Do something good for yourself, exercise and eat well.
None of us did anything to deserve this, yet here we are. Don`t wallow in self-pity. It makes you move in circles because often there are no answers. 10 weeks ago I thought my life was over, but since then I have come to realize that this is NOT the end of the world.

You did not deserve to be hurt like this! YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER!

I agree, it's time for YOU to take control of your life, your pain and your RECOVERY!

You need to heal, but it's going to be up to YOU. YOU DON'T NEED THIS SOB IN YOUR LIFE!

Call him or text him and tell him to NEVER CONTACT YOU AGAIN! Be strong in your message, no tears, practice it until you can say it with certainty and in a strong voice. Let him know you are way too good for this shit and you're done with him!

Then block his number from your phone. If he does try to call he'll get the message that he's been blocked.

Take the power away from him, give it back to yourself!

Take good care of yourself, even if it's just to spite him (at first) it will become a habit before you know it!

Get up, get dressed looking GOOD and do something for yourself!

He clearly has no idea what he lost, and lucky for you, you now know what you lost...a cheating SOB who doesn't deserve to even say your name!

If you can, get to the doctor, explain your situation and ask for some help to get over the hump and on your way back to the confident, self assured women you are!

Call one of your friends and see if they want to go do something fun, and promise not to mention the SOBs name once!

Write a montra, say it to yourself 100 x a day if you have to! Something like " I am a strong, independent, beautiful women. I deserve only the best from the universe, and it will come to me." Or whatever works for you. Say it over and over. Put it on sticky notes everywhere in your house and car, I swear it works, it takes time. You are the best and you will overcome this and find a man who deserves you!

I so know what you are talking about. Fly up to SF and I will show you a good time. We can go bar hopping. :)

HUGS