Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
To all of those married christian couples out there, I would like to offer you you a valuable lesson.
I'm a 36 yr old born-again christian husband and father. My wife and I have been together for 10 years now, married for 7 yrs as of tomorrow. (08.25.14.) Which btw is when our divirce will be officially final. My wife and I had many difficulties in our marriage. I was an immature and selfish fool for most of the marriage. However; I loved her deeply and wanted badly to try to become a godly and loving husband to her. But my wife refused (continuously) to forgive even the smallest offense to her. She only said that she didn't have to forgive me because she was still "pissed off." Time and time again I begged my wife to try to make up with me and seek advice and counselling to repair our marriage. She refused. Eventually she refused to allow me to hug, kiss or touch her. She said that I was disgusting and unworthy of her love. As this occurred I became encased in a deep, long lasting depression. Eventually I even became suicidal. All I wanted was to reconcile with my wife. I longed to know her forgiveness and to feel our love once more growing inside us both. Another three years passed. Nothing changed. She would not allow me to sleep in the same bed with her, she told me I was worthless and I began to truly believe it. But deep down inside I still loved my bride. I still do to this day.
Eventually I made the worst mistake of my life. I cheated. Afterwards I wanted to die. I fought an incredibly strong urge to commit suicide for the next 2 years. Feeling hopeless, rejected and unloved, I made another horrible mistake, I filed divorce papers on my innocent wife. I immediately regretted doing it too. I tried to stop it. I tried to drag it out. It lasted more than a year. In the meantime she moved out and started dating. Finally after countless hours of prayer and heartache I gave in to her demands on her divorce settlement. It left me in total financial ruin and no say or rights as a father. I am occasionally permitted to see our daughter, but never for very long. This is largely because I am an emotional crying mess, and my meds dont even cut it anymore, my depression has now become a permanent raging oblivion.
I want to relate to you. I committed a sin that not only ruined my family, it ruined my entire life. And now that I am unlawfully divorced and an adulterer, I am condemned to live out the rest of my days lonely, aching for love and stricken with grief for the loss of my wife (who is now very happy with her new "sexy" boyfriend.) No matter how sorry I am, no matter how much I support her and my daughter, no matter how much i love her, no matter that God has forgiven me... because I am condemned to a life that I have come to hate with a seething passion.
So... if you want your life to become your very own little private circle of hell, then give adultery a try. It's a sure fire way to wish you were never born. In the end, its far worse than death, because in this kind of death, your body keeps right on living.
I'm a 36 yr old born-again christian husband and father. My wife and I have been together for 10 years now, married for 7 yrs as of tomorrow. (08.25.14.) Which btw is when our divirce will be officially final. My wife and I had many difficulties in our marriage. I was an immature and selfish fool for most of the marriage. However; I loved her deeply and wanted badly to try to become a godly and loving husband to her. But my wife refused (continuously) to forgive even the smallest offense to her. She only said that she didn't have to forgive me because she was still "pissed off." Time and time again I begged my wife to try to make up with me and seek advice and counselling to repair our marriage. She refused. Eventually she refused to allow me to hug, kiss or touch her. She said that I was disgusting and unworthy of her love. As this occurred I became encased in a deep, long lasting depression. Eventually I even became suicidal. All I wanted was to reconcile with my wife. I longed to know her forgiveness and to feel our love once more growing inside us both. Another three years passed. Nothing changed. She would not allow me to sleep in the same bed with her, she told me I was worthless and I began to truly believe it. But deep down inside I still loved my bride. I still do to this day.
Eventually I made the worst mistake of my life. I cheated. Afterwards I wanted to die. I fought an incredibly strong urge to commit suicide for the next 2 years. Feeling hopeless, rejected and unloved, I made another horrible mistake, I filed divorce papers on my innocent wife. I immediately regretted doing it too. I tried to stop it. I tried to drag it out. It lasted more than a year. In the meantime she moved out and started dating. Finally after countless hours of prayer and heartache I gave in to her demands on her divorce settlement. It left me in total financial ruin and no say or rights as a father. I am occasionally permitted to see our daughter, but never for very long. This is largely because I am an emotional crying mess, and my meds dont even cut it anymore, my depression has now become a permanent raging oblivion.
I want to relate to you. I committed a sin that not only ruined my family, it ruined my entire life. And now that I am unlawfully divorced and an adulterer, I am condemned to live out the rest of my days lonely, aching for love and stricken with grief for the loss of my wife (who is now very happy with her new "sexy" boyfriend.) No matter how sorry I am, no matter how much I support her and my daughter, no matter how much i love her, no matter that God has forgiven me... because I am condemned to a life that I have come to hate with a seething passion.
So... if you want your life to become your very own little private circle of hell, then give adultery a try. It's a sure fire way to wish you were never born. In the end, its far worse than death, because in this kind of death, your body keeps right on living.
You were clearly sick before the affair and she did not stand by you.
I'm not judging the affair because you say you were suicidal before that, so it's not for me to make it worse. She may have BPD tendencies and was intolerable and the affair was a symptom of many ongoing issues.
If you've repented to God, that's between you and God now.
Love yourself enough to get help, get healthy and move on. You say you have children and they deserve to see a strong man as a father figure.
You're divorced and can start a new chapter in your life. But thanks for posting this. Maybe you want to repost this on the "CA" forum, as most people on this board are the "victims."
If you can get the proper emotional help for your depression then you can fight for your rights as a father. It sounds like at the moment you may not be in the best emotional state for extended visits but that doesn't mean you can't ever be. The best gift you can give your child is to get well and do everything in your power to have regular visits. A daughters relationship with her father is crucial for her having healthy relationships when she grows up.
Do not let your wife dictate your mental health or your visitations. Those are up to the doctors and courts.
Be well stay strong and forgive yourself.
I wish you healing through this difficult time.
so she owns that
adultery is not justifiable, so you own that, you also own the remorse,
genuine remorse outweighs sin
You need to forgive yourself, you need to see that your wife killed the family behind closed doors, the divorce just makes it public
the divorce can be a postivie in that you get some space from a person that was sucking the heart and soul out of you
you can reconcile with God- that is left for your to open to God, as God is open to all of us,
you can be a man of character and get more time with your daughter