I am sorry you are going through this , My stbx is a pro with affairs or so he thought as I caught him each time, he claims none were sexual but never the less if stbx were comfortable in his skin each one of his affairs would have been sexual. With your situation I don't think you are confused as you know exactly what is going on but you want to give him the chance to end it and not do it again. There is the option of couples therapy but if that is not going to happen then you need to decide for you and your child is this the life you want with a man that does not put you first and is not setting a good example to the child . Sure you can check his phone and things on the computer but the reality is he can erase it before you see it and you will always wonder . That is not fair to you at all. If he can not stand up and be a man and follow the rules of marriage then your faced with the choice of separation/divorce but if you let this go on without therapy and rules of marriage then he will keep doing it after all he has nothing to loose you have proven that to him that you wont leave and all he has to do is say he won't do it again. Talk is cheap and if he did not have feelings for her then why is he with her ? He is playing both fields because both of you meaning you and her are allowing it. Do what is best for you and your child how many more times does he have to cheat for you to get a clue, save yourself from some pain and regret and he has no reason to stop but your holding onto every wrong reason to stay. What if she or someone else he is with has a STD or becomes pregnant Best of luck to ya

I'm sorry to read your story. It's a terrible situation to find yourself in, so soon into your marriage.

If your CS has re-locked his phone, it's easy enough to draw the obvious conclusion. It doesn't sound like the past infidelities have been adequately addressed. Anyone who can cheat this early into a marriage, probably has serious cheating issues, and if so, he'd be a seasoned liar, and can't change just by the will of his word. It's understandable to want to believe him, all betrayed spouses want to believe. He said he has no feelings for her, yet he's re-locked his phone. If this has happened twice before, it's not implausible to assume he has been in contact with her all along. Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing, so when someone asks for privacy, they want impunity.

Anyone would want to raise a child in a family setting, but the setting is important for the child. They mirror their parents in their future relationships. Remaining in an unhealthy relationship comes with consequences we don't see until they surface years and decades later. And one's state of mind directly correlates with the state of their health, so your child will benefit more so from a healthy and happy mother, than a toxic environment. Staying together for the sake of the "family" when there is no trust, loyalty, or enjoyment, is a flawed concept. Nobody wins, and the children end up with their parents baggage.

In order to reconcile, a CS must become completely transparent to you. If he's not at work, he should be home with you, raising your child in a family unit. There are a number of must-do's for CS's and without a serious commitment to living by them, there is little chance a relationship can recover.

I wish you well.

This is very sound advice and I thank you for it. I am at the point where I am ready to walk and let it all go even if it means that our daughter won't get to live in an environment with both parents. I have to protect both of us and if walking away is what I have to do for our sanity then I will.

8 months into the marriage? That's a shame as you already know. I hate to say this but that pain you're feeling is not going to go away, in fact it's probably going get worse. You can't trust him period. He states that he doesn't have feeling for her right? Well for someone he doesn't have feelings for look what he's putting you through! I don't care how good of a father you say he is.
My husband cheated on me and we have a 10 year old son that he also is a good father to. I've thought about taking him back. He cheating on me :(, that didn't mean I didn't love him anymore. I went around in a zillion circles in my mind and it was so painful and frustrating but i finally decided I can't do it. I can't stop thinking about what he did and I will never stop and I certainly am not going to give him another chance to grind my heart and mind to pieces. I felt like i lost my mind when I found out. Ugg I have never experienced so much pain. He deceived me. He actually looked at this woman started kissing her knowing the whole time he was flushing our Vows down the toilet. He didn't care he kept going and had sex with her. That image alone goes through my mind over and over again.
I decided I deserve a better life, so does my kid. I will not raise him to hate his father and he doesn't know what his dad did and won't know till he gets a lot older and can handle it ; in fact if he doesn't ask I probably won't tell him.
I am alone right now and have been for over a year and for the first time in my life that is okay. I am spending more quality time with my son and it's great. I still hurt, of course I do but no thank's to being the victim of a trashy Human Being who decides one day he's going to crush everything we had for his own personal pleasure.
I feel for you so much and any woman or man that has to go through this. I hope you make the right choice for your life .

8 months ! And if he has done it before - my advice to you is deep down in your heart I'm pretty sure you know everything I'm about to say.. so my advice is take some time for your self and really evaluate your life... you obviously know him more than anyone else, and you obviously know that his actions won't stop . So really think for yourself the best environment for you and your daughter - staying in a broken marriage just for your children is not healthy for you or her - as she grows up she is going to understand the pain you have and it may effect her in many ways- so take some time and think what you want your future to be like - although I wasn't married went through the same thing for 10 years and I gave him so many chances - told myself so many times that I love him enough to forgive him u until after so long he broke up with me me to be with that girl - who he swore he had no feelings for - I now regret my choices - so just take your time and really think what you want

great fathers to their daughters don't cheat on their mamas