Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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How to get my Betrayed Wife Talk?

VJS1
VJS1

As posted a week ago, i am the unfaithful partner trying to come out from an affair. Had a session with my therapist and i told her i was an introvert and she told me i should start sharing and opening up to my wife and sharing my every day to day activities. How should i approach my wife to let her know this is part of my exercise to help myself? She has her fair share of mood swings and still not in a mood to talk to me. We communicate by texting each other most of time. I would say 95% of conversation is through texting and 5% is in person. I want to be an open book, how do i convince her to listen to me every day? Thank you in advance. 


Refurb thank you for this eye opening quote: "Life is about controlling one's impulses" No Mystery. 


Thank you


VJ

adiangelo
adiangelo
I would like to start by saying that I admire your honesty. Unfortunately, when infidelity is involved there is no one right way to move on. I suggest you approach your wife with a very humble energy. Meaning gentle gestures, honesty, consistency and effectively moving towards a mutual set goal. I have to emphasize that consistency is key in rebuilding trust. She has to be allowed to go through her grieving period of what was her belief of who you were. Through this time you may console her, do not forget that the act of forgiveness and letting go can be incredibly difficult. I suggest you do not attempt to excuse your reasoning even during times of heightened frustration. Time heals, consistency rebuilds.
refurb
refurb
three timelines
-yours
-hers
-the marriage

yours is not bigger than either of the other two
tread lightly

be patient with her, more than you were before when you choose to put her in this mess
VJS1
VJS1
Thank you Adiangelo and Refurb appreciate your opinions.
MrCellophane
MrCellophane
You can't communicate to her that you want to communicate with her? I get the sense that both of you have some issues communicating with each other.

Our MC had us engage in the Two Minute Exercise. At the end of the day, we sit down with each other and each of us has two full minutes to talk about our day, and how we felt about things. No matter what, the other person cannot interrupt or ask questions, or even respond. Then the other person takes their two minutes to talk about their day (And NOT simply responding to the first person's description). At first, it is important to work at trying to limit yourself to two minutes, and to fitting everything in to those two minutes. It forces both of you to focus and get to the point, not to meander and get lost on tangents.