Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I was sitting her wondering how to be sure when my marriage is over. I feel numb inside. There's no intimacy. We love each other but maybe that's because of the past and our children. I dont feel "in love" anymore. I dont feel respected or treasured. I've given it over 3 yrs since the affair and I still cant let these emotional walls down. So, does this mean its time to give up? Does this mean its over?
I was on the internet and asked that question, How do you know when your marriage is over and I thought I'd share with you what I found out. The website said ask yourself these questions:
Does every situation, no matter how seemingly trivial, evolve into a fight?
Do you or your spouse continually refer to hurtful events in the past?
Is all the respect gone from your relationship? Do you feel it is impossible to bring that respect back?
Have your goals and directions changed whereas your partner's have stayed the same? (Or vice versa.)
-Is your partner no longer fostering your individual growth?
-Have you and your partner both changed so much that you no longer share moral, ethical, or lifestyle values?
-Have you and your spouse lost the art of compromise? When you disagree, are you unable to forge a path together that is acceptable to both?
-Do you and your spouse have a basic sexual incompatibility? Do you feel completely unattracted to each other? Despite help from professional therapists, have you stopped making love?
I thought it would be helpful for others thinking the same question. The link is:
http://life.familyeducation.com/divorce/divorce-counseling/45517.html?page=1&detoured=1
But for those that made the leap, not out of anger but just at a place of finality. Any regrets? How do I prepare myself emotionally?
I was on the internet and asked that question, How do you know when your marriage is over and I thought I'd share with you what I found out. The website said ask yourself these questions:
Does every situation, no matter how seemingly trivial, evolve into a fight?
Do you or your spouse continually refer to hurtful events in the past?
Is all the respect gone from your relationship? Do you feel it is impossible to bring that respect back?
Have your goals and directions changed whereas your partner's have stayed the same? (Or vice versa.)
-Is your partner no longer fostering your individual growth?
-Have you and your partner both changed so much that you no longer share moral, ethical, or lifestyle values?
-Have you and your spouse lost the art of compromise? When you disagree, are you unable to forge a path together that is acceptable to both?
-Do you and your spouse have a basic sexual incompatibility? Do you feel completely unattracted to each other? Despite help from professional therapists, have you stopped making love?
I thought it would be helpful for others thinking the same question. The link is:
http://life.familyeducation.com/divorce/divorce-counseling/45517.html?page=1&detoured=1
But for those that made the leap, not out of anger but just at a place of finality. Any regrets? How do I prepare myself emotionally?
I guess what is helping me cope emotionally is to picture what it will be like without him, really really picture it. Is it better? then you know. For me, I just see peace. A world of my own with no one judging me. A world where I can make my own decisions. My girlfriend today told me she is getting her motorcycle license in the spring, so guess what? So am I. That's the other thing: make plans. I made this plan and for a few moments my pain was at bay.
Good luck to you and your decision. I know how hard it is to make.
No regrets. I love my life now.
Sure, it's harder. But still no regrets. I work like crazy, focus on my kids, try to keep me in school, had many dating adventures, was a cougar for awhile, am dating one wonderful man now that I love totally...
I make plans for my life. I hang the pictures on the walls where I like them. I keep the Charlie Brown Christmas tree every year...
I think I like having my life now without having to beg for honesty and integrity from someone who didn't seem to understand the concept of those words. I like not being with someone who doesn't understand the difference between right and wrong. We just were too intrinsically different. Our cores were too different. Our ideals and goals...all of it.
...and he liked to cheat too.
I knew I was done when it popped into my head, 'I am so done.' There was no anger. No great emotion, just this feeling of 'done.' If anything, I remember being a bit shocked at being at that point - that final point that I thought I would never reach. When it was finally there? It was shocking but relieving.
That was in 2005.
Hey, that's just me...L~
But also, if you can't handle the betrayal emotionaly, it's probably over then too.
The best way I deal with it emotionally is to deliberately forget looking into the past, and just look forward. Easier said than done, but its helps to look at an unwritten future..for me anyway.
Hoping the best for ya Blanca :)
We had a 33 year marriage by the time the divorce was final. I thought long and hard about what I wanted instead of the only one thinking we. When I finally got the proof that he had really married someone else I woke up one morning and said I'm done.
I stayed long enough to get the proof I needed for court. I try really hard to have no contact with this jerk. But when he wants something he gets our daughter involved and it upsets her.
What held me back was my farm. I had put so much work and time into it and I had never had any place to really call home. This farm became my home.
When I could finally say I want out damn the farm I knew I was ready to leave. For now I still have my home