Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Hi, I'm new to this social network and I'm so glad I found it. I believe I will be getting the help I am looking for and also be of help to someone as well.
This is my story.... May 2015, I was five months pregnant with my first child, my daughter when I found out that my partner with whom I was in a relationship for 7 years was having another relationship with another woman for 3 years. For those 3 years I was at University. Finding out all of this made me feel as if someone had knocked the breath out of me. I trusted him. I mean I trusted him so much I never thought he would do this. Because the man I met in college was very faithful. Everyday I cried and it was even more hard for me because I was carrying my child and I had to try my best not to stress too much because of the baby. Every time I got worked up about the situation I felt my daughter kicking and I just had to calm down. It was also hard because his mistress was very disrespectful to me. I was in sooooo much pain. I blamed myself and at the time I wanted to die.
After finding out about the affair he did apologize and I accepted his apology but I just could not let go of the hurt. Why I couldn't let go, because every time I tried to forgive and let go of what he did of he did in the past, I would find some text between them both, his mistress would message me screen shoting messages of their conversations, recent pictures and the whole works. I was laughed at by her that she was sleeping with my man, that he lied to someone he claims he loves and called a fool by her. In addition, my partner kept going back, kept messaging her, kept calling. So every time I took a step forward, I was pushed 10 steps back. The events during this time shook me up terribly. I was exhausted mentally and emotionally. He didn't stop until December 2015. Again when I told him it was over, I didn't want anything to do with him and again he pleaded and begged for another chance.
It's a new year and we have both decided to work on our relationship and our family. However, even though we have decided to move forward I believe I am stuck in depression. I believe I have forgiven him but I cant forget. I also have to deal with the woman he was involved with calling him almost every day. I see him trying and have made improvements because he ignores the calls because the phone he has is unable to block the calls. She is like a pest, a nuisance. Sigh and this keeps me remember what happened and also question if he is still dealing with her. I just cant seem to let go both mentally and emotionally. I feel that I am paranoid. If someone calls or message him I have to ask who is it to get some assurance or else I wont be at peace. I feel sooo horrible and ashamed that I have reached this stage in my life because I was NEVER like this. This situation has made me bitter, hate that woman, be hard on myself and so many other things and I know this is NOT me.
There are soooo many 'fruits' that have shown me that he has changed but at this point I believe I am the one who is unable to let go and stop reminding myself, as well as stop talking about it so that we can move forward.
I need help, need your advice. Thank you! #Blessings
This is my story.... May 2015, I was five months pregnant with my first child, my daughter when I found out that my partner with whom I was in a relationship for 7 years was having another relationship with another woman for 3 years. For those 3 years I was at University. Finding out all of this made me feel as if someone had knocked the breath out of me. I trusted him. I mean I trusted him so much I never thought he would do this. Because the man I met in college was very faithful. Everyday I cried and it was even more hard for me because I was carrying my child and I had to try my best not to stress too much because of the baby. Every time I got worked up about the situation I felt my daughter kicking and I just had to calm down. It was also hard because his mistress was very disrespectful to me. I was in sooooo much pain. I blamed myself and at the time I wanted to die.
After finding out about the affair he did apologize and I accepted his apology but I just could not let go of the hurt. Why I couldn't let go, because every time I tried to forgive and let go of what he did of he did in the past, I would find some text between them both, his mistress would message me screen shoting messages of their conversations, recent pictures and the whole works. I was laughed at by her that she was sleeping with my man, that he lied to someone he claims he loves and called a fool by her. In addition, my partner kept going back, kept messaging her, kept calling. So every time I took a step forward, I was pushed 10 steps back. The events during this time shook me up terribly. I was exhausted mentally and emotionally. He didn't stop until December 2015. Again when I told him it was over, I didn't want anything to do with him and again he pleaded and begged for another chance.
It's a new year and we have both decided to work on our relationship and our family. However, even though we have decided to move forward I believe I am stuck in depression. I believe I have forgiven him but I cant forget. I also have to deal with the woman he was involved with calling him almost every day. I see him trying and have made improvements because he ignores the calls because the phone he has is unable to block the calls. She is like a pest, a nuisance. Sigh and this keeps me remember what happened and also question if he is still dealing with her. I just cant seem to let go both mentally and emotionally. I feel that I am paranoid. If someone calls or message him I have to ask who is it to get some assurance or else I wont be at peace. I feel sooo horrible and ashamed that I have reached this stage in my life because I was NEVER like this. This situation has made me bitter, hate that woman, be hard on myself and so many other things and I know this is NOT me.
There are soooo many 'fruits' that have shown me that he has changed but at this point I believe I am the one who is unable to let go and stop reminding myself, as well as stop talking about it so that we can move forward.
I need help, need your advice. Thank you! #Blessings
I think you have said something very important. That is, you are stuck in depression and you can forgive, but not forget. Let me warn you, it's very possible you will NEVER get out of this hole in your current situation. You may work and work and work on your marriage, and everything may seem ok. Maybe even improved. But, in reality, the pain and memories, and most importantly, the FEAR, will be there. It can stay active for years! Or, you may overcome some of it but sure as anything, it'll resurface down the road. You'll now wonder if he's being unfaithful. Anxiety enters the equation of your relationship now. It's simply the way it is now.
In my opinion, your one true "out" is to get out. And as daunting and scary as that may be, it's doable. With that, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There will come a point in time when you look back and, although the memories are still there, the new life ahead of you looks more appealing to you. There's hope. But, in your current relationship, there is very little hope. It'll be a battle for a long time to come, and I'd say that in most cases, it's a battle that's ultimately lost. It's just what I've found to be the case.
Some people on here have had success. Very very few have said they're happier though. They've worked through it with great effort, emotions, and physical tolls on their being. I would say though that most end up not so well off. Many have had to go through the same ordeal again down the road. And then others report that their partner simply didn't understand or didn't care enough to put in the necessary work to make life better. Others still simply couldn't get past the depression, like you.
I know this appears quite bleak. But I see it for what I've went through and for what so many others have gone through since I've been here. I'd say hundreds of people in here I've read their stories and the conclusions are most often similar.
You could try posting this in the discussions section of infidelity too. You might get more responses in there.
He needs to write her a letter telling her he is not interested and to leave his family alone.
You are being played. Your partner wants his mistress and you.
You have a choice to make. He has already made his. He is cheating because he wants to.
The only thing you have done wrong is not making your position very, very clear to him. He must give up the mistress. He cannot have you and the mistress. Period. End of sentence.
Now get yourself to a lawyer so you can get child support. Get a restraining order against this bitch so she leaves you alone. And tell this guy he has by this afternoon to get a new phone.
I am sorry... If he wants this to work, he would change his behavior, his cell phone, given you his passwords... have no contact NC with the OW.
Hope he comes to his senses. BTW, sounds like you need to block her number or get a new phone number too. :)
You don't deserve this; you deserve someone who will treat you with respect and love. This isn't that.
As someone who's reading this and is not you but is currently ...