Hello all! I was here 4 years ago going through the hell that infidelity brings. My H had a year long A with a co-worker and through counseling, support (especially here on DS) we have been successful on the road to rebuilding. I don't say we've completely rebuilt - cuz that would mean our work was done. It's something tha twe will always need to work on and it's not just cuz of the A - we had a "complacency" in our marraige. And that's something that can be a danger at any time. Taking for granted what you think your life is adn having that pulled out from under you, makes you rethink that after you get married - the real work is just beginning.

So while I may be able to help those through the initial steps, I see myself also looking for continued advice & support. May not be at the level it was when he intially had the A, but non the less, I'm here with an open heart & mind.

When I 1st joined DS - my username was "destinedtobe". I had joined the rebuilding forum as well as divorced after 20 years of marriage (that was my 1st marraige that had nothing to do with infidelity).

Today? We just celebrated out 10th anniversary and for the most part, we're doing well. However, any of you that are going into years 2, 3,4 or more - just know that the subject of his A still comes up on occassion and that he as well as you, need to know that not only is it ok, it's expected. Not like pins & needles expected - but it should never be "This again? It happened x amount of years ago!". I twill always be something that forever changed/affected your marriage!