Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Not to long ago, i was caught texting other women about sexual stuff. my wife had found out and my life was falling apart in front of my eyes. this was the 2nd time it had happend. since then i have been able to fight off the temptation, with the help of some people that i could text at times. but now there is a new problem. im being acused of having sex with someone's wife, at a store that i went and helped at for a couple months.
My wife(understandably) doesn't believe me when i say that nothing happened. but the information being told to her makes her believe that it did. I don't know what to do or say. I can't force my wife to believe me. But the person saying this happened is lying and saying it was me, yet the individual i know, openly admitted to me that she had a friend and her spouse could tell if she was with someone so that is why she was always leaving work then coming back to use the restroom before going home. i had talked with this person while i was there about my problems that i fought with when she told me what she was doing. not that it was my problem to handle. just being a good friend/co-worker. There were text between us about daily life, and questions she had about the position she was training for(the same position i held at a different location)
I have other problems i deal with occasionally that i am working on. but this is the battle i'm fighting now. i know my mind will not be able to handle this (pretty strong feeling of a) loss, there is no sight of any hope.
Keep your posts and try to use your phone like a nanny cam. In your front pocket, with the video on. Create a conversation to get the truth out. Its illegal to film people. But.... Mostly if used in a court of law. But to show your wife your telling the truth. It may play in your favor.
You should create a journal here. Its therapeutic too. You can make it private, public or open.
If you don't have good enough proof, you are stuck. I would document everything that actually did happen though.
Tell you wife you are guilty of the earlier incidents, but not this one. And
stand on your head to please her. The choice is hers as to what she wants
to do.
You had no business having any kind of relationship with the other woman.
Hope you've learned your lesson.
The fact that you started sharing personal things between you shows that your need for attention and your boundaries haven't changed much.
As such, if you haven't had any real change then it is appropriate for your wife to still be mistrusting of you, regardless of the truth of you having an affair with her. It seems like you were already going down that slippery slope again.
A reformed cheater is just like a reformed killer.
Just because you don't kill anyone and can resist the urge to kill people most of the time does not show any change. It is the removal of the urge to kill people and the ability to cope with anger in a healthy manner.
You need to get into counseling and figure out why you have the urge to pursue close personal relationships with female that are not your wife. If you had figure this out and set strong boundaries, you would have avoided this current situation.
Your wife wants a man who is inherently faithful and loves her, not a man who tries really hard not to cheat on her. There is no safety or trust in a relationship like the latter.
We betrayed spouses tell newbies to watch the actions of the cheater and ignore their words. So as Storm said, stand on your head or do whatever it takes to show your actions match your words. And as forwardmotion said, get some counseling. Learn to be honest, demonstrate with your actions you are worthy of her, set boundaries for yourself (no relationships with other women even if its *only* texting).
It all comes down to this very simple thing: don't do or say anything behind her back that you wouldn't right in front of her.
your life.IF you really want this It comes from Deep within you.If you do not really want this please don't waste any ones time. Life is short and time lost
cannot be re-claimed. Positive Energy sent to your heart and Powerful desire for Cleansing for you-for the both of you good luck.