Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Brandy84 05/01/2017

I recently found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. He pursued me in Feb of last year and after a few months started asking me and my children to move in with him. I finally agreed in Nov of last year. The first couple of months he was never home. He worked night shift and was only home to sleep. He would make sure to schedule time with his friends but not with me. Valentine's Day this year I blew up at him for never being home so he started making changes. The changes consisted mainly of his friends coming over instead of him going to see his friends. I have three children and my oldest child has autism. My boyfriend has always been awesome with my kids. When he's around. A few weeks ago I found a piece of paper with his ex girlfriend's email and password written on it. It was in his desk and my one year old found it. I asked him about it and he said it had to do with WOW and it didn't mean anything. Well I recently got it in my head to use that information to get on her Facebook messenger. When I did that I was able to read the messages bw the two of them. He pursued her and flirted with her and asked her repeatedly to come over about 2 weeks before I moved in. After reading that I emailed her. She emailed me back saying that he was always went running back to her no matter who he was in a relationship with and she didn't know about me. They had sex in Nov. I moved in in Nov. He took her on a date shortly after I moved in. I try to talk to him about it but he claims talking about it won't do any good. He said I'm just going to have to go through it on my own. I have 3 children, am in college full time, and am starting a new job next week. I am reliant on him to help me with my kids so I can work and go to school. He quit his job in Jan of this year and has no income. I feel stuck. And stupid. I have no idea what to do. He has been making strides to appease me and try to earn my trust. He gave his son his computer. His son is grown. He shut off his phone and he rarely leaves the house. He claims he never cheated with his ex it was only flirting. But I can't trust him. What should I do?

calirn13 05/01/2017

He doesn't have a job. Leave him! Find a understanding relative and work something out. Never "shack up" with someone again.

betrayedtodeath 05/01/2017

First get yourself tested for STDs! He said "you're going to have to go through it on your own"..."talking about it won't do any good". You have your answer right there. He has no intention of even trying to do the real work necessary for change. Run!

Beachcomber 05/02/2017

Brandy- trust your instincts! They are right on target. Start making an "exit plan" (saving money, looking for a place for you and the kids etc.) You need to "detangle from him. Depending on a dishonest, deceitful man is dangerous to you and your kids. Start looking around for child care assistance so that you will not have to depend on him to help you with the kids. What he's doing is a form of abuse (a very insidious one too). Do you have resources for abused women in your area? You will wind up depressed, diseased (STDs), and full of anxiety if you stay with him. That's not good for your kids or you.

jennifera 05/03/2017

Your boyfriend is a womanizer. Your advantage is that he is your boyfriend and not your husband.
Get out while you can.
Tell him you have to look out for number 1- yourself and your kids for a long time and clear your head.
This is not a healthy environment to raise children in.

Brandy84 05/19/2017

I want to thank the people who were kind enough to give me advice. I am moving out next month and moving to another state. My best friend has opened up her house to me and my kids and is excitedly waiting for us to move in. I have told my boyfriend that I won't settle for a guy that has hurt me and lied to me and that I deserve better. He only comes home at night to sleep on the couch and he leaves early in the morning and stays gone all day. He knows he messed up but that's not good enough. I told him from the very beginning that I won't tolerate any lies, cheating, or him hurting me in any way. He knew this from the start and still had an ongoing affair. I can't and won't forgive him. The really sad thing is that my 17 month old son calls him dadda because he has been in the picture since my son was only 2 months old. He won't even look at my kids much less talk to them. He just stays away to avoid having to see or deal with all of the hurt he has caused.

Lenoire 05/21/2017

You are lucky to get out of this one as easily, many abused and betrayed spouses don't have that option available to them. You're lucky to have such a wonderful friend to help you.

He's a loser, and hopefully you're able to analyze why you would have moved in with a guy like this in the first place. He doesn't work and spends the entire day out of the house, what more is there to say. Don't let him talk his way back in. He had a chance, there aren't anymore chances to show you, he's already shown you who he really is.

I wish you every success and much happiness in your new home in a new state.

Wishing you

HeatherinSA 05/23/2017

Get out now. Thank you stars that you have not had a child with him or you would be stuck with him for the next 20 years in some way or another even if you leave.
It sucks, but you picked a bad apple. Just get out. What he gets out of you being there is a boost to his ego that someone would love him. He does not deserve your love. It's not worth working on it. He's never been true to you, ever. And now he refuses to take responsibility, instead pushing it off on you. Get out. Save yourself and your children more heartache.

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