It's only been two weeks and I'm entering a very, very painful phase of grief.

My husband admitted to a 2.5 year affair, half the time we were married. He was on a business trip in Asia and signed up for a dating website there where he started seeing a woman who thought he was single. He admits that he was forced to tell me after she found pictures of my son and me, but he also says hes glad he took the chance to start fresh with everything since hes also started a new job.

Hes been good about apologizing, answering questions, starting MC (one session so far,) honoring my request to delete all pictures of them, and blocking accounts from Skype and email. The stress has been compounded by the learning curve of this new job so he hasnt been able to allow himself to fall apart. Ive been trying to hold it together at home and finding ways of reconnecting with him even when I dont feel like it. Weve implemented some rituals to help us communicate like spending at least ten minutes every day to talk about our day and anything else on our minds.

Over the years, hes given me jewelry for my birthday and Christmas. Now I look at them like awful timeline markers. He worked for a high end jewelry manufacturing company so I had a few nice pieces from them. I know I have a couple of pieces he also gave her so I cant stand to wear them, much less look at them. I cant wear my wedding ring, to say the least. I look at the other pieces and think, Oh, I got this ring from him and he slept with her a month later.

So I made a request for a new ritual in order to help me heal and associate all that jewelry with new, genuinely loving memories. I put all of it into a jumbled heap in a jewelry box and asked if he could re-present them one piece at a time when it felt right. He thought it put him into an odd situation because he couldnt gauge if it was the right moment to give me something. I see his point, but I told him that as of right now, Im not inclined to wear any of it for a long, long time. If ever. I didnt tell him this, but I also think if he handled the pieces and put some conscious thought into their selection, it would get him to think about us in a more positive way as well.

I cant think straight these days. This morning I completely lost it the worst Ive felt in days. I know its impact is just beginning to surface and Im frightened by the intensity even though I know in my head its normal. But I would like your feedback on the jewelry idea. Am I nuts? Am I being too female? Is it too much to ask of him? Have any other rituals that you might suggest?

Thanks for reading my long post, you are the only ones Ive been able to confide in since telling our friends and family might spell trouble for his new job.