And there has never been any sexual contact. Nothing more than tight hugs and a peck on the cheek, neck, or lips. Just pecks...am I lusting?

Maybe you can let 1 foot in the door for him, maybe hes being sincere some men are and have regrets of losing what once was, or maybe a time apart might help .. but on your part you stuck with your guns and held out
meaning you didnt let 1 word lead into another sometimes us guys need that reality check so do some females just to stay and be honest in a relationship take 1 day at time just dont let your guard down make him prove his honesty and his loving way's i wish you luck on this

I am not sure if you are exercising any choices from your story. I believe this man has a child and has a woman he's been with for 10 years? - so what are you expecting out of this? One minute you sound like you know this man is BSing you, the next minute you are smelling his dreadlocks? - LOL. I mean, sorry, this isn't funny but you need to stop messing w/this man before you get hurt further.

Good luck :)

I think it is lust. I'm proud that even though you let him in...you didn't LET him in, be strong don't keep tempting yourself. He is trying to wear you down and you will regret it if he happens to catch you at one of those weak moments and you give in. Don't answer his call, don't let him in, don't think of the good times...and stop sniffing his dread! :)

I need to refresh myself on your story...

Ummmm Milliejay.....Im unsure if your being insensitive or just an azz. Therefore I erased my initial response to your stupidity and ignorant comment. Moving along...@ barr and herestohoping....Im resisting him the best that I can. Although Im also woman enough to admit that perhaps I should have fought a bit harder and simply let him knock. Im confused as to why he just wont go away. I mean it had been almost 2 full months of absolutely no contact. No response to texts, his number is blocked so it goes directly to voicemail, I dont call him or text at all. However after letting him in that day, hes back to thinking I will sit on the sidelines and wait patiently for him. I must admit its a fight, but I wont give in. Im totally done. Just dont have the time nor patience for his games.

Stupidity and ignorance? - did you not say that this man has a lady and I believe a child? I am not sure what are you confused about. Sounds like you are saying you don't get why he keeps coming back when you are telling to stop coming around and reaching out, correct? So I can see why you have that question in your mind but if this is somebody else's man why does it matter what questions you may have?
This is an infidelity support group - most ppl are trying to recover from infidelity - here you are venting while you are allowing yourself to be part of a triangle to certain extend - again, I can see why this is difficult to you, but you have posted about this situation for a few days and the whole time it's about how you are struggling to not let this man near you and you also say things to make it look like you don't get what he's doing? - it doesn't matter what he's doing, what matters is what you know - this isn't a free man - so again, what are you expecting out of all this? and what was ignorant about my comment?
If you write something - don't remove it - you aren't hurting my feelings - LOL. This is a forum - so what we are expressing on here is w/the intend to help ppl - not to offend - nothing you say I will take personal - I don' t know you and I am not here to judge. My best advice to you before and now is - leave this man alone before you keep getting caught up and hurt - good luck :)

"However after letting him in that day, hes back to thinking I will sit on the sidelines and wait patiently for him. I must admit its a fight, but I wont give in. Im totally done. Just dont have the time nor patience for his games".

Analyze what you are saying above - then analyze also tons of other posts you have put up about how you know that he's BSing you and how you we have choices and you aren't giving in, etc - sounds like not only you are giving in but you are sending this man mix signals yet you are also asking yourself why is he doing this that or the other - of course he's going to think he stands a chance and he's also thinking he can toy with you - YOU are allowing this man who has another woman into your home, cuddling, watching movies, hugging, the whole nine - so yes, he's getting precisely what he wants out of you.
My comments my be harsh but they are meant to make you think about your actions and to make you at least own up and take charge - you can't allow this man to toy with you then complain about what he thinks or what he's doing - this isn't about him - he's doing what you are allowing.
If you do not stop now that it seems that this is fairly recent - you will have an ever more difficult time later - you are allowing your feelings to be abused - is actually not funny or about judging you - it's actually very sad but what is worse - you are not seeing YOUR part in all this - the man is doing what you are allowing.
He's not single - stand up for yourself and do not allow him around you.

Take care :)

The classic TOXIC example of a relationship.Poison written all over it! It comes with the DS stern warning. Swallowing this product is dangerously hazardous to your health .

Milliejay, there arent multiple post about him, as Ive just started writing about him. Nonetheless, your right in regards to me opening my door and allowing him in my home again. Should have let him stand out there and knock. Hadnt seen him in months and I guess deep down, I missed him, and wanted to see his face. I also think deep down, I was wondering if he had mad some sort of CHANGE in regards to his SITUATION that he CLAIMED to be in. When we first met, he told me he had a 5 year old with a woman who he has been with 10 years, BUT that they weren't any longer in a relationship, that she lost her job, so she still resided under his roof. However neither one was happy anymore, and that they agreed that in January when she git her taxes, she would be moving out. I can honestly say that I should have saw that as too much baggage and told him then to holler at me once he had fixed his issues. But again, the type of individual that I am, I wouldn't cheat on my mate, so I believed what he was saying. I told a good friend about him and his tall tale and she suggested that I ask him to spend the night and when he went into all the reasons why he couldn't, I would thne know the truth. However on a particular date he took me on, that was when he decided to tell me that he was beginning to really care for me, didn't want to lose me, and then he slapped me in the face with the fact that this woman who is supposed to be moving out in January just gave birth to his 2nd child with her. This is after we had been spending all our time together, months into whatever we had going on. I was shocked to say the least. I cut him off completely, but of course I have questions. Who wouldn't? I'm definitely not use to dealing with men who are already taken, therefore I need to understand why he would even bother to go through all we have been through. Why not just get the hell on and let me move forward and pass this. We had no contact for almost 2 months, by my choice. How he got in contact with me then was to call from an Atlanta number. When I answered it was him. He sounded horrible, distraught, and near tears. Asking me to just allow him to explain. I fell for the okey doke, and told him I would at least listen to what he had to say. Didnt think then, like Im thinking now that he's had several weeks to try and come up with something that would help his plea. So he tells me that she is moving in January, that he can't just throw her and his child onto the street (which I never insinuated in the first place), and then he even went as far as to tell me that she lives on the top floor of the house, and he resides in the finished basement part, but they are co-parenting as to not upset the 5 year old. When I said what about the newborn, how did that happen. He goes into the spill about, him really not dealing with other women cause he too busy with work, he has needs, she there and he slept with her. The worse part is he told me that she's been on some sort of birth control the last several years, BUT he remembers during that ONE TIME after the mutual agreement that she was moving out cause neither were happy. She kept asking him to NOT EJACULATE inside of her. He claimed in his mind he like wth, I have all these years so he ignored that and she wound up pregnant. Now again, Im not use to such (HELL I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO CALL THIS) we'll just call it tall tales. BUT TO THINK THAT A PERSON WOULD CREATE SUCH A EXTREME LIE to have his way is just....ludicrous. Anyway, I laughed andtold him, You can't be that damn stupid. IF what you are claiming is true you have just been set up my man. I told him NO WOMAN...NO WOMAN is going to agree to move out, then for no apparent reason, discontinue using birth control, get pregnant, only to move out and be stuck with 2 children to raise alone. I also told him that since he is financially straight, has several cars, and 2 homes, if she did it wouldn't be before taking his tail to the bank. He said maybe some women are like that, but not her, she's nothing like that. The last thing I remember telling him, was either he's a freaking idiot or thinks I am and I kicked him out. That was in October. So here it is December, he goes to my job and eventually pops up here after 2 months of calling and texting that went unanswered. With that all being said, I think deep down, when I let him in just maybe he was going to tell me that he had made a choice. I did tell him before that I dont other people's man, boyfriend, whatever and that if I wasn't the only one, I wouldn't be anything. Deep down, I thought he would say hey she's moved or I've moved. But nope, it was more of how much he missed me, how we are going to be together, that he now CAN SPEND ALL THE TIME HE WANTS WITH ME, yada, yada, yada. So, yeah I fell for the schemes, and the lies. But after the other day....IM TOTALLY DONE. NO MATTER THE EXCUSES, NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE CALLS OR TEXTS....I'M LETTING GO FOR GOOD. IF HE POPS UP EVER AGAIN, NOT ONLY AMI NOT GOING TO EVEN LET ON THAT IM HOME, BUT I'M THINKING OF CALLING THE POLICE. SO THAT HE CAN FULLY UNDERSTAND THAT HE NEEDS TO JUST GO AWAY. Im posting a new topic, and it will explain. Its called THE EXTREMES OF A CHEAT.

And Millie, No love I dont know why he's doing what he's doing, because He has been cut off for so long you would just think he would move on to the next victim...I mean withme if a guy blocks my number...I wouldnt dare go in search for him, shiw up athis job or his house. I would take the hint that he's not trying to be bothered with me. Besides he not bad looking at all, great job, several cars..Im sure there are quite a few women here wiling and dont care about the female he's not claiming.

Sorry - but yes, very toxic,, very shady. Stop wondering why people lie, mislead, cheat, etc. Associating w/a man who's involved w/another woman has the word DRAMA spelled all over it. Good luck n take care.