So, I told you guys about Reco right. The ONLY man I've let come near me, get in my psyche, almost had me about to break my 3 year long celibacy. Well as I stated previously, I dont answer any of his calls or texts. He's actually blocked so all his calls go directly to voicemail. For the past few weeks he's been relentless and calling every hour on the hour. So today he went by my job, they told him I wasnt there. So he text me saying he misses me and wants to see me. I finally respond and say he is no longer welcome and to just go away, and lose my number. But he's arrogant, always says no and said he was on his way. I told him a rew other things that I thought would run him off, but shortly after he knocked on my door. At first I started to just be quiet and act as if I wasnt home, and it's been a month and some days since I cut him off, so I was surprised he really showed up after the things I said. It ran him away a few months back, but not this time. I wrestled with my emotions and opened the door with the chain intact. But he was like please dont treat him like this. I love him, I missed him, so I let him in. Asked why was he here, he claimed cause he loves me. BULL MALARKEY! !!! I noticed during Thanksgiving holiday he called consistently, but on Thanksgiving and the day after...NOTHING. My heart and mind says, he wants his cake and eat it too. I mentioned that and he came back with how he called everyday and I refused to answer. BULL MALARKEY! !! I told him how I feel, that he hurt me, and to just stop calling and dont come by ever again, but I let him in so my words dont mean a thing. He stayed 3 hours, I listened to his excuses, while I watched a movie.mthe last hour he held me close, I wanted to resist and I did verbally, but he just kept hugging me, telling me he missed me. I missed him to. So much, that after a while, I gave in. I allowed him to hold me, while I smelled his skin, his hair (he has the neatest, cleanest, longest dreads Ive ever seen), I whispered hiw much I really missed him, but told him not to come back here. He just kept saying he loves me and I will be his. I live him, more than he realizes. Is it a game to him. His ego, because I refuse him? He looked me in my face and told me, I know he's a good man, who and what I need andcwe will be together. What an arrogant butt wipe. He's gone now, but told me to unblock his phone number and to answer his calls. I love him, but I wont. My gut, no matter what my emotions says, tells me although its hard, let him go. Resist. Im so confused.
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