Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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/ Infidelity Support Group

He just keeps cheating

green28
green28

So my husband and I haven’t been married very long. We have known each other for about ten years and have been together most of that time.  About 9 months ago, only 7 months into our marriage, I found out he had been looking for “fuck buddies” on random hookup sites claiming he was single. I confronted him about it and he said he was sorry and wanted to change. Then about 4 months later I caught him again. Again same thing he claimed he was sorry and wanted to change, he did change somethings so I thought maybe he really did want to change. Then about a week ago I caught him again. Same story he wanted to change, blah blah blah anyway I just searched through his phone and found out he quit for maybe a day. Is there any point in keeping up this charade? I’m just fooling myself right, that he loves me and wants to change? I feel so hurt and I don't trust him. 

Magola
Magola
Do you want to keep up the charade? It sounds like he's going to do whatever it is he feels like doing. And he's certainly not taking your feelings into account. Serial cheaters are so difficult. I would say he needs some serious therapy to figure out why he's doing this. But, that's not to say you need to stick around for it. You have the choice to decide what you'll put up with and what you won't. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It's a horrible thing, and we've all been there. Others will say this, but get tested. You never know. Best of luck to you.
betrayedtodeath
betrayedtodeath
I'm sorry you are going through this. Look at his actions do not listen to his words. You can't change another person, no matter how hard you want for things to be right. I'm sure he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Read my post "Welcome to the newly betrayed" for more info. And yes, get STD tested ASAP.
Cora_Belle
Cora_Belle
That you have known him since you were 14 and "have been together most of that time" leads me to believe that one or both of you didn't make a conscience decision that you wanted to "spend the rest of your life" with the other. This sounds like a marriage of convenience and expectation. That marriage was the "next logical step" once you have been together for 10 years. Maybe he isn't the right guy for you, he was just the guy right in front of you.

That and the fact that he can't fully commit to you and stay faithful.
forwardmotion
forwardmotion
He is a serial cheater and will cheater on you as long as you are with him.

Don't waste any more time on this guy and find someone with character.
StormPetrel
StormPetrel
Time to leave! If you don't this will be your life for as long as you tolerate it.
MrCellophane
MrCellophane
Whether your husband loves you isn't a relevant question. That he "wants to change" is his excuse for not actually changing. Your husband is a serial cheater. Know this: Whatever else happens, your husband will never stop lying or cheating. He just won't. That isn't how he is wired. He isn't going to wake up one morning, having changed into the husband you want him to be. You are married to who he IS, not who you WANT him to be. If you can bring yourself to be cool with that, then carry on. But if you can't, then you need to move on without him.