Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Lady-Sylvanas 04/05/2018

I have been married to my husband for 5 years. We have been together for 7 years and have two beautoful little boys.

Shortly after we were married, I discovered that my husband had a converaation woth a woman and tried initiating sex. The incidwnt happened before we married, a month before thw birth of our first child.

I waa broken. Hurt. Felt like i could never trust him again.

I made him aware if I ever found this happened again I would take our son and be gone.

Outside of him liking a few womens photos on facebook, i havent found anything else.

So, after all that hurt. After being on that side. How is it that I am the one who is sitting here thinking of a different man?

No one knows. Not even the other man. Maybe he does, I have found myself flirting.

And i dont get it. This man is very much like my husband. He is geeky... he isnt as outspoken as my husband, he doesnt disregard others opinions like my husband. He looks nothing like my husband. He is a more reserved and polite version of my husband.

My husband and i work complete opposite shifts. We have to. He works days and i work grave. At home, I am alone with our 3 and 5 year old all day. Its hell. I love my children, they just drive me crazy.

When my husband gets home, he gets pissed because something didnt get done. I cant do anything other than supervise them 110% of the time. No joke.

When i do try to get something accomplished, he bitches at me for whatever ths kids have done, wondering why I wasnt watching them. Yet, when i do nothing but watch them, i get bitched at for doing nothing.

So he gets home he immediately starts screaming at the kids. They spend the rest of the day in their rooms. They are not to bother their father.

I am chronically ill. I have multiple conditiins that will never be cured. Ever. I need brains urgery for a rare condition. My surgeon is in NYC, we live in kentucky.

He makes me feel like shit for going so far away. But this guy specializes in my condition. There are no true specialists anywhere near us.

Last year when I went up there for my first surgery, he was supposed to meet me up there after his work week was over. He was supposed to stay from saturday until wednesday. He didnt.

Coorperate conveniently was doing a random inspection and he HAD to stay back otherwise he said they would fire him. So i laid in the hospital all alone.

When I am in pain, he doesnt care. He does for a little while. But if my flare lasts longer than one night, it then becomes a nuisance.

Sex hurts. But we still have it. I have seen doctor after doctor. My only option left is to have a procedure done that wil cost me 3 grand and there is no garuntee it will work. I havent gotten aroused in so long I cant remember. He doesnt even try. We dont go on dates . His way of initiating sex is "hey, wanna do it? " .. then we just go and have sex. Or "hey wanna blow me". There is zero romance . Nothing.

So.. i know i cant be alone in any of this.. how do you get past this?

betrayedtodeath 04/05/2018

Sorry you are in pain. But here's the thing: most everyone here on this particular page is the one who has been cheated ON. So many of us were treated poorly in the bedroom and in all aspects of our lives together as a couple, but it was because our partners were out screwing other people and just didn't give a crap about us. They were people who felt entitled to do whatever they wanted. So if you're imagining having an affair as some sort of revenge against your husband because he ignores you or doesn't care about you...you risk becoming exactly that sort of entitled character-deficient person. No one here will condone cheating as a balm for your personal pain. We have been on the receiving end and there is nothing that sucks worse than betrayal. If you are miserable in your marriage, then end it.

Cheaters anonymous is the forum for discussing your fantasies of adultery.

Lady-Sylvanas 04/05/2018

Im not seeking permission.
I have had previous partners cheat before. While i was never married to them, it hurt just the same.

I never imagined I would mentally be where I am right now.

What do you do when you are where I am? Without destroying your marriage? Without breaking up your family?

Im just seeking some wisdom. I know im not the only one who has lusted for another. Im looking for someone who has been there and did not cross the line

forwardmotion 04/09/2018

Counseling or divorce should be only option. Exit affairs are the cowardly way out of bad marriage.

Don't end up in the CS category, it won't help your situation.

Get some counseling and open up honest communication with your husband.

amg3ofus 04/09/2018

It sounds like you are hurting on all sorts of levels. You have to decide what is best for you and your kids. If you thinking about someone else then your heart is not in your marriage so it will never work. My H recently cheating on me and not once have I thought another man. If you have been cheated on then you know the pain it causes. IF you are looking for advice then you need to look in yourself. Why are your eyes and heart wondering? Why are you staying in your marriage? Do you have the strength and will it would take to keep your marriage together? Does your H have the want to stay together? You have to live with your choices, no one on this site has to. When you wake up and look in the mirror are you proud of the person you are? Are you the example for your kids you want to be?

I wish you the best on your journey.

refurb 04/10/2018

1,000 small choices every day, you choose to fantasize and choose to ignore the fallout action upon such could have on your husband and your children
great parenting mommy

refurb 04/10/2018

1,000 small choices your husband makes every day to marginalize you without regard to his children
great parenting daddy

refurb 04/10/2018

choose to act in the ways that if you children knew your choices, you wouldn't be ashamed
either tell hubby that counseling is needed or you'll divorce
or just divorce
don't fuck around (includes not fucking the other guy)

sherril2291 04/25/2018

First off, you are hurting and someone else has come along, perhaps, that treats you well and makes you feel desirable again. Thus, you are attracted. We are human and that's how we operate. However, people who know better should try to do better. Understanding that someone else might temporarily fill your needs does not make it right to do it. It has been my experience that wise decisions come from my values and not from my emotions. You're hurting and you want relief, and this man looks like a pain reliever.
I have been cheated on but never cheated, but have been attracted to others. Attraction is a physical and emotional response that we aren't always in control of. We are in control of acting on it, though. Relationships with other people are beautiful things, but only one relationship in your life should include sex, and that is the one with your husband, in my humble opinion.
Have you and your husband sat down and discussed why he comes home angry? Does he know how you feel? Heart communication is so necessary in marriage, but not everyone knows how to do it. Have you considered working with a counselor to develop communication techniques? It sounds like both of you are in pain and not sure how to treat it. Think back on when and why you fell in love with your husband, and try to let those feelings and memories guide you to seek help. I think it's great that you reached out here for advise. I wish you all the best!

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