I contacted HER H on several occasions and know that he hates my H's guts and wishes him harm. He is not putting any of this on his own wife, who worked for my H. I think she had thoughts of becoming a doctor's wife. Now he says he should have told me what was going on between the 2 of them. Why didn't he? I had to find out from his wife with a vile email.
When my husband found out I had talked to the OW's H, he was livid and said I had opened a can of worms... well guess what? It was his can of worms. My H wasn't prepared to accept responsibility for his duplicity and the 2 of them thought they were pretty clever keeping it hidden. I think in the end my H saw that the OW was on a mission and he didn't want to lose his house and all the trappings.
To him it was just a game but one that could have cost him everything he has worked for. If he wanted her he would have left me. This has caused a lot of pain for me but I am willing to work toward a better future. I can't imagine what the hell he was thinking to be involved with 2 on an emotional level at the same time, but somehow that makes it seem he was not serious about either one. Just a diversion. When reality hit, he had to make a choice. Don't the cheaters realize there are always consequences? Guess not, because they do what feels good at the time with no thought of the hurt they are setting their spouse up for. It's hard but maybe in the end it makes us, the ones cheated on, stronger in what we will accept and how we ourselves deal with bad decisions and the resulting circumstances. From my end of it, a pox on the other women...I hope karma bites both of them in the a$$ and one day I amm sure it will.

Why would you want to add insult to injury. Somethings are better off left alone, don't you think. Would you want ALL the gory details? I don't think it's worth it. But of course I cheated on my wife.........

That's what I'm screaming. WHY CAN'T THESE PEOPLE THINK?!!! Where is the stop mechanism? It's really sort of scary to me. The reason some people become serial killers is that they don't have a stop mechanism in their brains that tells them this is inappropriate and this will destroy lots of other lives. I'm sorry. I guess I was always taught that my actions always affect someone else. I should always treat others the way I wanted and expected to be treated. I'm definitely not great at all of that. Sometimes I can be pretty critical, (I know you've never noticed, :/) But, I DEFINITLY know about the big things that are no nos and will cremate someone else if I do it. Where is the stop mechanism? Why in the world would ANYONE think what they do only affects them? That's why I HATE this new mentalitiy that says if it feels right for you, then it's okay. NO! IT'S NOT NECESSARILY OKAY! We don't live as isolated individuals. Every decision we make somehow affects someone else that we may not even know. My wife's OM knew me AND my children. We had many mutual friends. WHAT were they thinking? They weren't. They just met a selfish need and thought of NO ONE but themselves. How can people do that?

What I meant was what if the ow husband knows nothing about what is going on between my H and her ,I wished someone would of told me instead of me finding out the way I did,

My H alrady admitted to sleeping with somene else how could it get any worse, what other gory details could there be, I didn't mean it to start trouble or cause pain but don't you think the other H has a right to know?

Sometimes you just have to leave well enough alone. Believe me, as a cheater, we have our own demons to face. If the person is truely sorry, it will hurt them just as much to go over the gory details. It's like living a nightmare, over and over again. I don't ever think of sleeping with other women again, I just want forgiveness for my actions. And yes, I have owned up to what I have done......