No,
(but it should be said that my wife kind of went from having an affair to choosing divorce so maybe that makes it easy for me to say no and to say that I wasn't tempted)
I can understand the temptation to get even but remember that a person that violates their own vows actually soils there self. How is that getting even?
If you did cheat would you put terms on it? would it have to be a unattached man or would you be part of someone else's infidelity?
You sound like a person that would have trouble doing either and living with yourself afterwards.
That is a good thing, keep your character

Its a common fantasy but the reality of the fallout usualy stops it.

If the goal is to save the marriage, it will not help to set your half of the marital "house" on fire because he did.

If the goal is to make the CS feel your pain, you won't succeed. Someone who has cheated and then been cheated on will not experience the same pain. May even make them feel better about what they did.

If the goal is to even the playing field, how will it help to give yourself the cancer your spouse gave themselves?

If the goal is to retain your own integrity of character, committing the same sin as they did will destroy that.

If the goal is to treat others as you want to be treated, in what version of morality is it okay to drag an unsuspecting third party into a relationship with you that you know is not honest?

Of those who I've heard that had them, I've not heard any success stories, that it helped. Only that it drove it all into the ground.

BTW, I too have never been with anyone but my spouse. Am I curious what it would be like with others? I'd be lying to say no. Is it worth finding out to risk my marriage, my family, my spiritual life, and my moral character?

Hell no.

That's why I didn't cheat the first 29 years of marriage, and I won't for however many more years it lasts. I'm perfectly content going to my grave not having experienced another woman's body. It's not that important to me to give up what I do want to take to my grave, but would lose if I went that route.

Choices have consequences.

I didn't have a revenge affair, but in your case, you're right....he cheated while you were pregnant, it probably couldn't get too much worse. Not only is that your marriage, but it taints your pregnancy and the birth of this child. So sorry you're in this spot.

I have not had a "revenge affair." I think Cole said it best with "How will it help to give yourself the cancer your spouse gave themselves?" You two don't have enough pain and aggravation already, that you need to compound the problem? To be sure, there is now a measure of inequality to your marriage, but your husband's experience does not place him on a "higher" level than you; he is on a LOWER level. If you take yourself down to his level, both of you will just be at the bottom of a dung heap. Personally, I take comfort in knowing that, regardless of my wife's actions, I have remained faithful to my promise. HER word is rust, but MY word is gold. Perhaps I seem a smugly self-satisfied martyr. But I see it as an accomplishment that I kept my word.

TBH, I considered it but not for long. My father had an affair when i was 13 And I never saw him the same way again... we are good friends and i love him dearly but a part will alwaus know what he did to my mother... I promised I would never be that man.
I did go on a dating site because I think I needed validation... all I got was the creeps :) that was a dumb move.

I believe that you made the right decision, and you should feel good about that. It would only cause more trauma for everyone involved. I admire your willingness to do the hard work on your marriage! Have you gone through any counseling? Stay strong and don't give into temptation! HUGS!!

~Ducktapetherapy77

I had an affair (1st ever!) lasting 2 years with someone who was also in a long term relationship. When I chose to end that relationship and recommit to my marriage/family I tried my best at being present, being the best I could be, and I was but I have never found things to be the same. After 2 years of no contact with the other fling I heard he had been having an affair with someone else. I know...serves me right eh? But it went beyond that. I could not numb the shame, pain, and sadness with anything.
This was a big enough emotional trigger that I justified infidelity with someone new. Yet again. Not proud of any of this but my revenge affair experience was very painful.
It was like I was cutting off my nose to spite my face.
I for one have re-embraced the saying "THE BEST REVENGE IS LIVING RIGHT."

When I got married I told my husband (who is now my ex) that if he cheated on me again I would divorce him. I was young and had a small child and wanted two kids with the same dad which is the only reason I agreed to marry him in the first place (great reason to get married right?!?) Well two weeks after I had my second child he cheated on me. Two weeks later we moved out of state, away from any support group I had. About a month after we moved he came clean. I started the divorce process, but with two small children I was kind of at a loss on how I was going to make it. During that time I did have a revenge affair, I never told my ex about it, but it did make we feel better. We ended up staying together for another 14 years before he cheated on me two more times and we eventually ended up divorce. The revenge affair made those 14 years possible. I don't really regret it, we had a dysfunctional relationship from the beginning, and I endured a lot during the 19 years we were together and in some crazy way it made my decision to forgive him easier. I am not saying it was right or that it is something that everyone should do, but for me as a young mom in a bad relationship, feeling stuck, it was what I felt I needed to do at the time.

Bump

I loved her too much to disrespect her with cheating, even after the millions of times she did it to me, and I just stupidly took her back every time.