Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Carson2402 01/08/2017

I’m going through a very tough time folks. I just wanted to speak to some people going through the same thing as friends and family will do their best to cheer you up but they can never really understand. The hurt will be different for each of us I guess.

I’m 28 and have been with girlfriend for 10 years. We were due to get married in April this year but on New Year’s Eve I discovered she was having an affair with a guy at her work.

When confronted she lied to me about it for weeks until the truth finally came out. I then did something that I would advise none of you to do, but you will do it anyway. I asked for the details.

To her credit she was brutally honest and told me it was more than a sexual affair, (for which I also asked for the details of) but that she had fallen for him. The stress of the wedding had made her realize she was not suited to a monogamous relationship and wanted to see this other man as well as me and she asked for an open relationship. I declined the suggestion in disgust.

This girl was my best friend, life partner and childhood sweetheart. The level of devastation I feel is indescribable. Has anyone else been through this and can you tell me, will the pain ever go away?

I feel like my whole life has fallen apart. I have no direction, nothing to work for, no hopes for the future and feel completely lost. My day consists of sitting in a dark room until someone drags me out to the pub.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated guys.

Thanks

betrayedtodeath 01/08/2017

I'm so sorry you're here and going through this. You are not alone! Good for you to not agreeing to an open relationship. Even in these arrangements many people continue to lie and "cheat". I'm assuming the engagement is off? The pain can lessen over time and you have time on your side. I'm trying to reconcile with my cheating husband who has been at it for 30 years so it's going to take a whole lot of time for healing on my part. Had I known then what I know now...! What I do know is this: you can't change people. Only they can and only if they want to. Your trust has been shattered and I suggest individual counseling for yourself. It will help you right now while you're in crisis mode and more importantly it will help you navigate relationships now and in the future. I wish you all the best right now as you struggle with this loss of what you thought she was and who she is.

broken234 01/08/2017

My ex-husband cheated on me after 15 years of marriage. Its devastating and life changing. Right now your world is falling apart and what you are feeling, you are supposed to feel. Let it happen. But it does get easier. I promise you that it does. You will move on eventually and find the person you are meant to be with. It's hard to see that right now, but it will happen. Hang in there, and talk to the people on here. It really helped me a lot. It has been two years since my husband left me for the OW and I am very happy now. My life is better than it has ever been the entire 15 years I was married.

Carson2402 01/08/2017

Thanks so much for your advice, I'm finding talking to people like yourselves is really helping as she is begging me everyday to get back with her and she will change but I know she will do it again. I asked her "Can you guarantee this wont happen ever again?" she replied with "I don't think so"

Every day is a struggle and I'm currently taking Valium (prescribed) to numb the pain of this betrayal, I just can't believe she would do this to me. I don't know if I will ever recover from this, thanks alot broken234, I'm really glad you are happy now and taking the time to help out others going through this horrible process.

betrayedtodeath, yeah I cancelled the wedding yesterday, it was the hardest thing I've had to do in my life. She keeps txting me trying to get me back and I'm scared I'll be weak enough to do it. She was everything to me and the shock of it has truly devastated me.

Thanks for all the advice!

betrayedtodeath 01/08/2017

It is very very common to be bombarded with calls emails texts asking to get back together. You see her now for who she is. The mask has slipped and you saw the real her. Go no contact. Do not reply. Block if you think you will be tempted. You sound strong and I'm glad you have decided what is best for you!

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