Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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sublime76 02/04/2013

I was the CS, for two years, and was emotionally invested in the relationship, and truly thought I found my soul mate and thought I was truly in love. Ive been married to my wife for 12 years, and was ready to throw it all away becasue I was convinced I could not be happy with her. I wasnt sexually satisfied and lacked a connection, and guess what? I found that with the OW. I was caught twice, with teh same OW, and my wife still wants to give me a chance to change. Ive even told her that I was and still am in love with the OW. I am currently out of that other relationship, said it was over, and I feel horrible about it. It was like a drug, and I am craving the OW, her face, her Love, everything, and its really tough to get her out of my head. I feel like I am going crazy.

I know in my head that staying with my wife is for the best, for everyone involved, but my heart is telling me something totally different. I cant seem to shake it, I try staying busy, but I cant be busy all of the time. Some one please tell me this will pass......all this heartache, and sorrow, and feelling like Ive made the wrong decision in staying with my family.

redlegs 02/04/2013

It is like a drug, and the feelings are very real, but your love is not complete. The only parts of the OW you have experienced are the parts she wants you to see. You have to cut it off cold turkey if you really want the feeling to end. They will go away, but it takes time. There are some other men on here who may give you their input. You can get past it, just hang on.

redlegs 02/04/2013

One other thing, you will find more information that pertains to your situation in the cheaters group.

deleted_user 02/04/2013

The best way to get over the OW is to go be with her. You will either find she is your tru love that makes you happy or it will blow up in your face. DO you wife a favor. Let her go. You do not truly love her. You love you. You do not truly love the OW either cause you are cheating on her with your wife. You love yourself. Go do you. Stop draggin you wife down. Let her find a man who truly loves her.

deleted_user 02/04/2013

Sub,

Would you be posting this if she gave you an STD or child.

sublime76 02/04/2013

I am obviously in the wrong place, I apologize for offending anyone who has been cheated on, I was simply trying to understand why I felt a certain way, so please do not reply to this topic any longer. I will find my answers elsewhere.

Thank you

LyraAryn 02/04/2013

Oh, how torn you must be trying to figure this all out. The choice between the most enduring, wonderful, beautiful love or your wife. I feel so sorry for you choosing to stay with the one you've devastated. How noble you are to give up your love and happiness and stay with the one who just doesn't deserve you and can never be your soulmate.
The best thing you can do for your wife is to go to the OW. Leave your wife and file for divorce. Your wife will be hurt at first, but she will soon find how much better off she is without you. Now that would be the best for everyone. Especially your wife.

onyx11 02/04/2013

I hope you read what you wrote and actually digest it enough to think - what kind of person am I to have to be obssessed to the point I can't stop thinking about this "thing"/ "item"/"person and I frame it like that cause you can talk to anyone with an obsession and it could be anything.

Do you have obssession complusive disorder? Is there a history in your life that you have acted like this about stuff? girls? stuff you just bought? your wife when you just meet her?

Normally thoughts like this are to cover up something else going on in you that you then have to come over to this side of things to forget yourself or the other things going on in you.

Does that ring a bell?

Like Gmarie12 said - you are in a fantasy - this person is not all that - once you really live life - pay bills - do real life with you will find that this "awesomeness" is really craziness.

You may have to be with her to "wake up" to reality of the situation and by that time your W will probably wake up as well to drop you like its hot.

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