Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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JBroken 05/08/2017

hi,

i just needed to vent. I think I have finally made the decision to leave my husband, literally just now. Unforuntanetly, it 1 week before me and my family fly out to another country for my sisters wedding. Infidelity has been a prominent issue, only on his part, and yet he continues to make the decison to stay. His behaviors the last 3 weeks remind me of the time when he was cheating on me. He swears up and down that he isn't doing anything wrong but I know deep down he his. And even if the case is he isn't, I can't continue to live like this. My mental health is at stake. He continues to say that he wants to be here that he believes I can make him happy even when I have told him I don't think I can because of his inappropriate behaviors. Lately he has been going over a particular place (he had the find my iPhone on but now has since turned it off) he claims up and down that is what is causing all of this me looking into things and interpreting them in the wrong ways. I feel like I'm going crazy It i know I am not. Either way I can't be with him I don't trust him and I will never trust him because he cannot be faithful to me 100%.

We have been together for 15 years and this has been an ongoing issues for 7 years. He will not allow me to heal. He keeps opening up old wounds and then gets mad when we go through this fighting. He lied to me on Saturday about going to work and stayed all day at the address . I think it's the house of a female friend he has been in contact with on and off. He only admitted it when I told him I knew the truth using the find my iPhone but insisted he was at the house alone bc of the argument we had previously. Maybe she is away and he is taking care of her place or maybe not either way I know he is hiding the truth from me and I can't do this. And he gets sooo upset when i tell him he can go be with her or anyone he wants I even tell him I understand you are not happy and just like me he has a right to be happy. But what I say is he can't be happy at my expense, he cannot have his cake and eat it too.

I know at this point I'm just ranting and writing what comes to mind. I think if he doesn't come home I will just ignore him. We have therapy tomorrow and highly doubt he will go. But it's fine, I just have to keep repeating to myself that I need to end things. I still love him and wished things would have worked out differently but I feel my mental health is at stake and I thank god for my son bc he is the only thing keeping me here, I know if I harm myself I will only cause him great pain and I don't want to do that. I need space to heal and return to a healthier place.

vkshravi88 05/08/2017

You are a brave and courageous soul. Not a lot of people have the strength to be able to make the decisions that are best for them in the long-term but the fact that you recognize what this man is doing to you, your happiness, and your mental health - facing that kind of truth is difficult, But it shows how strong you are, how well you know yourself, and how happy you can be even if that happiness is one of the most difficult things to achieve right now. Your son is lucky to have a mother as amazing as you, and this site, this group is always here to help you navigate towards that healthier place if you ever need it. Please know that, and know that you being able to make this decision for your own and your son's long-term happiness inspires courage in any and all people who might need that extra push to leave something that's toxic to them.

I truly hope everything works out for you, and I have complete faith that you are more than able to shape your and your sons fate into making sure that it does.

stayingpositive 05/08/2017

If those old feelings are coming back, I bet he is up to no good again. It is one thing to break the trust once, but if it happens a second time, it is time to leave. That is the rule I am keeping in my head right now. From what you have typed, it seems like the best things for you is to move on and find joy in your life again. You owe that to you and your child. I just found out my husband of 17 years had a brief affair with someone he started a business with and I am having to decide if I want to continue this relationship. He wants to stay and work on things, but I am not sure. We had out first counseling session today. What does your counselor say to you?

JBroken 05/08/2017

I mean when I go without him he does say that these are behaviors he may not be able to change. Which in all honesty the more I speak to ppl I'm starting to think that it's a reality. He tries to give us suggestions on how to work throw things but ultimately it's issues that are beyond me.

shoretimenow 05/09/2017

If that man tells you he may not be able to change his behaviors listen to him.
He is telling you the pull to cheat is greater than the pull to change his life around and not cheat.
You have the power now. The ball is in your court. You have the field in front of you, you now need to decide if this is the kind of life you want to live (and the example of a relationship for your son) or if you want out.
Trust your gut.
I'm sorry you are experiencing this.

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