Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I'm sorry if my post today have sounded on edge. I'm sad because I found out today that friends of ours, who we spent a lot of time with back in the 80s, are getting a divorce, soon to be finalized.
And it is one of those things where he told her earlier this year that he had been with multiple affair partners over their last 30 years, and had recently ended an affair lasting five years.
And my guess is he told her this because he probably had another one on the line and wanted out of the marriage. Who knows.
But he was a close friend back in the 80s, and I always looked up to him, seemed to be caring, helpful. He helped me out of jams a few times. We'd be at their house for New Years Day and stuff like that, playing games. I even flew with him while he was getting his pilot's license.
So this has hit me hard. I'm doing my best to not think all men are heartless self-centered jerks who only care about themselves. I know not all of us are. But being here and then to get hit with that just makes me sick.
Why do so many of us not care for anyone but ourselves? At least that's what our actions are saying.
Sorry for the rant, but my heart is hurting for her. She's experiencing my worst nightmare as far as cheating goes. I cry with everyone going through that.
It just sucks, sucks, sucks, big time.
And it is one of those things where he told her earlier this year that he had been with multiple affair partners over their last 30 years, and had recently ended an affair lasting five years.
And my guess is he told her this because he probably had another one on the line and wanted out of the marriage. Who knows.
But he was a close friend back in the 80s, and I always looked up to him, seemed to be caring, helpful. He helped me out of jams a few times. We'd be at their house for New Years Day and stuff like that, playing games. I even flew with him while he was getting his pilot's license.
So this has hit me hard. I'm doing my best to not think all men are heartless self-centered jerks who only care about themselves. I know not all of us are. But being here and then to get hit with that just makes me sick.
Why do so many of us not care for anyone but ourselves? At least that's what our actions are saying.
Sorry for the rant, but my heart is hurting for her. She's experiencing my worst nightmare as far as cheating goes. I cry with everyone going through that.
It just sucks, sucks, sucks, big time.
I'm really sorry you are going through this. Is finding out about this causing any retriggering for you?
Much support for you, you are an amazing person here!
Prayers for you and your friends.
I think maybe I'm angry not only that it happened, but that it HAPPENED. Not sure what I'm saying there, but maybe it'll make sense in some kind of esoteric way.
Thanks for the support. I just hurt for her is all. Interestingly enough, my W and her have started talking and are helping to support each other. A BS and CS helping each other as "sisters" as she put it.
Some people can still care through their pain.
My heart hurts for her because she is a terrific mom and friend, a beautiful, caring, talented person, and this guy just broke her heart and their boys' hearts, too. I hurt for her, too, because when my world fell out from under me with my H's affair, in the end I got a second chance with him as we chose to reconcile - she did not get that chance, and it makes me feel angry and sad that she didn't. Why us and not her?
Continue to be a friend for her, with your wife supporting her as she is able to. It will be very affirming to her that you two choose to support her in her pain rather than her husband in his selfishness. Blessings to you and to her.
I can only hope that it wasn't HIM filing but rather, that it was HER filing, and saying, 'enough is enough.'
Maybe I read this wrong? Could that be?
Divorce is always hard to read about. So many out there think it's an easy thing, it's a problem solver. Actually, it's hard as hell.
my two cents, L~
But she did say that she wanted to rebuild, and he tried for a few months, but gave up and he's filed for divorce. She has come to accept that as the outcome. He told her in Jan. He left her in May. Divorce is supposed to be finalized in two weeks. But no, L, she didn't file for divorce.
My sense of it is he wanted out of the marriage. He's probably around my age, so close to 50 if not already there, and after ending the last affair, probably starting a new one, decided he didn't want to slink around with it and wanted out so he could "live". Just my sense of it. Have no idea what is really going through his mind. Other than he is apparently justifying his actions. Par for the course.