please let me say i have been faithful up until now. Completely involved with his family. I felt neglected by him recently and I tried to get his attention and he never understood or took me seriously. I faltered and am very sorry. I now am getting all the emotion and accolades i deserved from him and requested but now its too late. Damage is done. What should I do? I need him to stay. I wont do this again. I truly see he loves me but just got consumed with work. He is so money driven and Im withering away begging for help and attention...I am so angry it too this to get an honest intense feeling from him.

I'm very new to this site and I may be out of line, but here in this support group you may not (or may if you're trying to punish yourself or get a rise out of this group) get a good response. There is a group called Cheaters Anonymous on here. You might want to check it out. People here could more relate to your husband's feelings.

Sorry you've ended up putting your partner and yourself through this.

First, realize you can't make him stay. It is fully in his control whether this is a deal-breaker or not. If he leaves, it will be one of the consequences you'll have to live with from what you've done.

However, if you want to give him motivation to stay and work through this with you, I highly suggest you get the book or audio book, "How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair" by Linda MacDonald. Read it and follow its suggestions. No guarantees, but it is the best chance you've got to set things right and allow him to heal.

Other issues, like anger management, will have to be dealt with on their own terms. Good luck.

Both sides of this coin suck for those that have cheated ans those who've been cheated on. As bipslitt mentioned, we are mostly bs here but I will respond based on the limited information you've given.

Just as you never imagined being in an A , you can't be sureif you would or would not do as far as forgiveness. Forgiving betrayal by the ones we love is not an easy oath by any means. It can take months or even years. For most bs (betrayed spouse) they need 100% commitment from their cs ( cheating spouse) to move forward.

Right now it sounds like your stuck in your own world and want the one you betrayed to be understanding to you, even suggesting they he be your life coach. While under other circumstances that would be acceptable, right now is not.

If you are too broken to guide your bf through his hurt, and anger, then it is important that you put 100% into fixing yourself and encourage him to do the same for himself.

You briefly mention anger management but do not mention the reason. Is he being abusive? If so, your #1 priority becomes your safety.

Rebuilding a relationship after infidelity is extremely hard work and requires so much from both partners but the cs carries the brunt of this burden. Rebuilding is not for everybody. My suggestion isc each of you find counseling for yourselves. At some point you should also get into marriage counseling.

God luck. I hope that you csn both heal from this.