yes you can mend a broken relationship if the person that broke it gets help and wants to change their life.
The odds are horrible that people will change.
The cheating is not about love, its about lying, blocking, numbing, running from ones self.
They love or think they love their partner as they understand love.
But once they cant be honest and truthful, then they will destroy a relationship that they think they want.
Will a cheater cheat again most likely, and will they make promises of regret and never to do it again absolutely.
Can you live your life in fear that someone will cheat on you .. no.
If you are honest with yourself, others and god and face your emotions and fears, and trust your partner, Talk about your emotional pains and have someone who will not judge you, then you can built an honest intimate relationship. This is why so many people fall in love with their therapist, a therapist will listen and not judge. Will help you with self love.

Talk to your partner about life, feelings and adult things not just the weather.

Always write in a daily diary, about how you feel and why.

I hope this helps.

I am a cheater. I have to say I really do and always did love my wife. I never thought I would be a cheater. We just got to a really bad place in our marriage. we got along fine, and did things together, but the intimacy was gone. We were both hurting due to what was missing. There is so much more to my story but I don't want to go into it on your post. I never cheated before this and I never want to cheat again, especially knowing how badly I hurt her. I hope and pray everyday that we will be able to work through it.

In response to the mended relationship question. I am in my marriage a decade after discovery. Initially it was incredibly painful and embarrassing, I am a forgiving and caring person and love my wife so much I wanted to make this work. Counseling helped and we stopped that. Over the years it creeps up on me at times but It seems to be daily at this point and recently caused a huge argument. Why a decade later? Because the cheater cannot get lazy and complacent that. They don’t have to over do it and I don’t want my ass kissed but they need to try half as much as I still hurt. It’s to the point that I want to look elsewhere for the attention and appreciation and have been the bigger person and avoided an adulterous situation in the past. If the cheater wants to mend things they have to know it’s a very long journey as the one who was hurt suffers far more than they realize. Sorry if I rambled. I am just glad I came to this site as maybe I can find some common ground with some of you.

Can you tell me how the cheater is lazy and/or complacent? What happened?

Well for me.. I've cheated till I was 30..Something clicked in me and never did it again in any of my relationships. I was immature before and selfish and had insecurities. I remember one of my girlfriends wouldn't swallow me and I took that as a sign of rejection and seeked it elsewhere with someone that did.

Guys who cheat have insecurities or don't feel love for themselves or with the person they are with. Men's thinking is sex is sex. They can have sex with someone else and means nothing and the next day say I love to you their wife or girlfriend.

Men are so easy. We think about, sports, food, money, sex. Top 4 things we think about.

Women think about everything and anything, their hair, did you gain 5 lbs, what's that ingredient missing for that perfect lasagna, your cousins bday party, your family, your in-laws family, your best friends family. You all think about a lot and you let things out of your control also affect your emotions.

Give a man a bj/sex in the morning and show him love, you will have louis vuitton's that night. Men want to be feel appreciated and loved. Not nagged. For me though, I appreciate a woman who vents.. It's needed.. I vent too and love to talk on all levels and listen. Most men do not.

Fact - 95% of men are douches and/or don't get it. You have the other 5% to find your person.

Rob

following..

Lindsayalone -i have same questions. I am in the 10 month mark post affair. I am still struggling. Mine thought he loved her and told me so at the time. He changes that narrative to it was all BS because he lost himself. He is showing remorse but i question everything now. The innocence of our love is destroyed. The fact that he was capable to face me daily while deceiving me blows me away and shows true character. I will say he is very supportive to my pain & being transparent so if you are also considering Giving a 2nd chance it can work if he truly snaps out of the infatuation fog/distraction. Its just not easy for me because i saw screenshots of their interaction. It reflected A deep Connection that is branded in my mind. Good luck and reach out anytime.