Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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TJH11 07/02/2018

I'm 4 months from D-day. We are working things out and he's being great. His one friend that went with him to meet this woman at a bar has invited us to a dinner for 4th of July. This guy has worked with my husband for about 4 years, I've only met him on one or two occassions, never hung out or got to know him. But this man knew the woman my husband was having an affair with. I just don't know if I can go to a dinner party and be around him and others who know what has happened, or knew while it was going on. My anxiety is very high and it's 3 days until this dinner. Any suggestions on what to do?? I haven't discussed this anxiety with my husband. He wants things back to normal, as do I, but I'm not sure I'm ready for this.

betrayedtodeath 07/02/2018

Anyone who knew and kept your cheater's secret is no friend of yours. I personally would not want to be near anyone who aided and abetted a cheater. Even by *just* keeping the cheater's secret. Asking you to go is expecting you to eat a giant sh%t sandwich. Not ok.

Your husband wants things back to normal? What exactly does he think is normal? Does he expect you to just get over it already and move past this? Or is he remorseful but dense about your pain here?

Read my post "welcome to the newly betrayed" for some pointers.

Osheana 07/02/2018

Honestly it has to do with if you are ready- I mean personally- I would not
feel comfortable sitting there all night .To be honest I think it is unfair
to you- it is enough already-maybe skip it and do something else for the 4th
of July? maybe- Can you deal with being reminded of the incident and others
that were aware?,Be honest with your husband, maybe he will initiate the
idea to ditch the dinner for a more comfortable evening in a more desirable
environment.Be honest to him in regards to how you feel. Trusting that all will work n your favor.Bright Energy and Positive Vibes sent your way.

StormPetrel 07/02/2018

Tell your H that this dinner makes you very uncomfortable. You, as in both of you, will not be going. Have a place you do want to go to and make the plans for that.

If you do get stuck going, go late and leave early.

refurb 07/02/2018

one is what one accepts, those people accept cheating therefore they are scum
why would you want to hangout with scum
if your husband like scum
you ought to leave him before he puts a bigger scum slick in your heart

Gwendellj 07/03/2018

You need to let your H know that your uncomfortable going nothing goes back to normal after an A unless your not being real about everything it's never normal again it's all different, just talk to him and you can make a compromise if you want let him know your uncomfortable going and why and that you will go and try to be around these people but that if you want leave then he needs to respect your wishes and leave!!!

TJH11 07/03/2018

UPDATE: I told my H how I was feeling about this dinner. He said he was not expecting to go. He just wanted to make sure I knew we were invited, so in case one day I'm feeling up to these types of dinners I know that we are always invited. We're going to go do our own thing. He was very reassuring and sweet about the entire deal. One day at a time! Thanks for your advise. Made me feel better. I'll be utilizing this site more. :-)

forwardmotion 07/03/2018

That's good to hear. You really don't want to associate with people who are enablers of affairs.

Your husband should also distance himself from that co worker as he is not a good influence.

Often recovering alcoholics have to get new friends because the crowd they were in likely were drinking buddies.

In the same way he needs to get a better crowd of decent people around him.

Can you imagine if this guy had scolded your husband and tried convincing him that he was going down a dark path instead of enabling him...what might have happened differently?

"Birds of a feather flock together."

refurb 07/03/2018

oh & friends... they chose to be his friends not your friends they choose to pick sides, be silent and accept him for who & who he is because they can identify with that behavior...his behavior - sneaky-deceitful-selfish

yuk they turn my stomach

calirn13 07/06/2018

Then why would he tell you he was invited? He was hoping you would consider or maybe forget and go

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