No dear.
A completely remorseful CS would be completely transparent in all matters.
He would have nothing to hide nor would want to.
Keep an eye on him and don’t let your guard down.
Tigers don’t change their stripes, they just get better at deception.

Agreed!

You know I'm in no position to really say. My husband has never stopped lying. My biggest fear in all of this, (well one of many) is creating a master liar. One who is better at deceiving than he was in the beginning. Although, a white lie could be something dumb to ease a stormy situation. Did you take the garbage out? YES! and he didn't but doesn't want to create a stir. Doesn't make it ok, but I'd be curious about what that white lie was.

Magola it was something unimportant really. I had asked him to ask someone in his hockey team to take over a function of his so he would be spending less time on finding subs for his team as that takes a lot of texting people before each game. I asked if he found someone he said yes. Yesterday I see he was texting guys to find subs. So I ask him again and he said again that he had asked soneone else to do it but this guy "didn't to it right". But then he eventually admitted he never asked anyone to take over. So he lied. He never asked anyone but did told me he did.
As you see something really stupid but well if he lies about something simple to avoid getting in trouble than he will easily also lie again about cheating in the future

You are right to be concerned- it seems strange to me he would lie about that. Why? Are you in therapy together? Do you have children?

Yes for therapy and yes a 1 yr old. He says he wanted to keep doing this little job himself instead of asking anyone but thought I would be mad if he would not find anyone to take over. So he lied. It's not the subject of the lie that is the issue it's the lying itself. And the lying in my face and me still not being able to read his face so I can tell when he is lying. So frustrating

My wife hasn't lied to me (or I haven't caught her) since she confessed and goes out of her way to tell me any interactions she has had with any guy even if someone just said hi. If an old male friend texts her.

The fact that she confessed and wasn't caught showed that she wanted to change for herself as in all likelihood I would have left her and she knew that.

Another factor is that I have told her that if she goes down this path again I am leaving her and there are no third chances.

The fact he is lying at all for no reason at all is a concern. It shows that his commitment to change isn't completely self motivated to change for one's own benefit and growth.

It is in some significant part it is to keep you around and his lifestyle/home intact. Unfortunately these external factors as a driving force to change will not be enough.

Change has to be tied to his internal identify not his perceived identify. Cheaters are certainly ok having a shiny façade with a rotten core.

Perhaps he is striving for a shiny façade and a ok/so-so core.

The problem with this lack of motivation for internal change is that it has a better chance of fading and backsliding to who he was before.

Thanks all for your thoughts, yes it sure worries me that he could slide back. not sure at this point what to do. will wait and see but will sure keep my guards up

I am in the minority here, but I do not think this hockey thing is necessarily related to the deception of cheating. Maybe he doesn't truly want to give up the role or thinks someone else will drop the ball if he hands it off, but he is afraid to disagree with you because he already feels "one-down" to you. I would deal with the hockey issue on its own.

Gravinggirl yes that's 100% the case as to why he lied. I want to see it as no big deal but am worried how easy it still was for him to make this little white lie

My ex was a compulsive liar. In fact, the lies only multiplied after I left, as I found out all the lies he'd told me about his past. If he still lies about little things, however small the lie, the pattern is still there. Call them on it, hold them accountable. I wish I could be more optimistic.

Forwardmotion, my wife does the same thing. Informs me of her whereabouts and if she's going to be late etc etc constantly. She never confessed to anything. My gut tells me she had a romantic relationship but she says it was a friendship. The only reason I believe her is because at that time in her life sex was very painful for her at times. I just don't know and I guess I don't want to really.

He lied - to have his way and didn’t want you to get mad. Familiar?

Have a good talk with him. Explain your concern and most importantly look after yourself.

God bless!

Jwr - sex seals the deal of adultery but cheating in any sense is almost as bad because it is straight up betrayal. The fact that she can't due to pain wouldn't comfort me much.

Like saying tell someone I want to kill them but I can't because I left my gun at home...

If my wife didn't confess and I caught her....probably would have left her.

No. She kept the lies going for months despite us going to marriage counselling, and a Mexican vacation paid for by my mother (who knew of the affair as I told her). Not sure why she kept talking to him but with my memory it almost feels as of gm he trust was completely broken when she still cheated despite me knowing.