I am sorry that it took losing everything to realize what you had. If you have kids learn to make them the most important thing in your life.

Really looking in the mirror and admitting to yourself the depth of what you did and who you are is where potential to change begins.

You may have lost many things due to the consequences of your actions, but you can either allow it to keep you where you are, or you can use it as motivation to take the steps and path of becoming an authentic and better individual.

I agree. You can repair some of the damage. Show your wife you are a better man. Whether she stays with you or not, you have the opportunity to prove to her you have learnt from your mistake and have become a better person.
Use this event to change your life going forward and work on being a better dad, employee, partner etc.

Thank you everyone .Both my kids are staying with me at this time.Its a small basement suite and Im so ashamed of where we ended up..Not the kind of life you want to give your kids.Its a tough time digging yourself back from this point..I break down every day.I really think I need help and look forward to talking with someone about this.

Therapy is a good idea with a psychologist. I'm sure you've already know that there is little sympathy for the cheaters. A impartial third party like a psychologist can help you figure out how you arrived at this point and then you can work on changing your perspectives, patterns, and behaviors. Spiritual guidance could also be good if you have a pastor.

Therapy is a great idea. If you're looking for support from a forum, I suggest Cheaters Anonymous here on daily strength. The majority of folks on this forum are the ones whose lives got blown up when we were cheated on.

If it took you 10 years to realize this, you need a ton of therapy. Not a ton of sympathy will come to you in this forum, but I must admit it is nice to hear that a cheater feels remorse. I hope your spiritual and psychological awakening can help you and your family and I wish you well.

10 years is a long time. My H waited 6 to finally tell me the whole truth. Lies and deception have been your calling card--it is time to do something different.

I'm not going to pretend I have much sympathy for you; rather, it is your kids. Stop making this situation you created about you. You owe them a father. Be one. You owe them love and support. Be there. You did this so pull up your boots and get to therapy. Now. If you are truly willing to change , do it. Now. No excuses or "poor me"--your kids deserve better. Make that your priority.

And post in the cheaters section. You are likely to have less anger spewed your way with them.

Thank you for your post, it really helps to know that what goes around comes around. I'm sorry for your kids, why did you end up with them? I hope they are just visiting. My ex-husband is still in paradise and does not realize how sad it is that he now lives in a garage and sleeps in a COT, he wants my kids to visit him there, over my death body. I hope it does not take him 10 years to realize that leaving his wife and kids, to start a new life at 46 with a childless woman is not paradise.
I know you were looking for support, sorry if I was hard, but please know that there is sympathy and that is better late than sorry. I hope you could see your ex wife and tell her how you feel. I would love for my ex to come one day and say SORRY even if by then I'd be happy again with a real man. Let your kids know how sorry you are, make them your priority and let them see that even from the darkness there is always a way out. If you are in this crisis is because rocking bottom was needed in order for you to see the possibilities.

I agree with all others u may get more support on the cheaters anonomous forum. I personally wonder if ur sorry you got caught and lost it all or that your truly renorsefull and just now (after 10 years?) Realize what you have done. That said if it's option 2 than there's hope for you. This will change you as a person in a good way. It may be to late for your wife but now that you see how intense you have hurt the person you loved you will hopefully never sink to that low point again. But don't sit there in self pitty. Go work on urself with a therapist and when your ready tell your ex wife how sorry you ate and how stupid you were. She likely won't want to get back together but as a betrayed spouse point of view it will help her healing. She's a mess I can tell you that and yes you caused it. So don't sit in self pitty. Of course you can live with yoursrlf. You did the past 10 years. Now own up to your mustakes and learn from them and be the man and father you should have been all along. it's never to late to change yourself it will bring you happiness again in the future if you do. Good luck. Hug your kids and realize how rich you are having them. Don't be ashamed of living on a basement. Yes you caused a mess but ur kids still love you. And if you work hard on yourself you will provide them with something so much more important than what kind of house they live in. You give then their father back as they only had half of you the past 10 years. Wish you well. Work hard it sounds like your on the right track. A cheater cannot heal till they hit rock bottom sounds like you hit urs. From here it can only get better.

Good to hear that you "get it"

Who's pain is worse, yours or the pain that you inflicted

Is your pain over the realization that it was you daddy that inflicted. Pain on your family?

If so, there is hope in that, means some how some way you've grown out of being a selfish turd, you are getting a backbone and can actually be a man that your kids can see as pulling his shit together

Keep at it , they'll respect such,
It will alleviate some of their pain and you can forgive yourself