I always ask the same question as well. You should tell him that if u ask him it's not to bring it up but to re assure yourself that he wants to be with you and not her. Just hearing him say it can help even if he's already said it a thousand times. What happened brought down my self esteem to the lowest point it's ever been which is y I ask so much. If hearing ur answer helps you feel better than u shouldn't stop asking, asking shouldnt push him away. If he's sorry and wants you to get through this he will understand y u ask so much.

Thank you, I was thinking the same thing. I wanted to tell him to just reassure me every once in a while?

I Know how you feel when you say she is acting like nothing happened, that is exactly how my boyfriend is reacting. But I have realized we have a different way of getting over things. They want to hurry up and move forward because they dont want to think about the bad they've done. (Again my bf does the same thing) My counselor tells me that I need to fight the urge to not think about what happened. Not thinking about what happened can actually cause more damage than actually thinking about what happened. Im guessing you and your wife are trying to make it work?

Cheats, rarely, if ever, prosper and, he cheated yes? My first love cheated on me, I gave it two years but, found it impossible to forget let alone forgive, I fell out of love with her and, I left her.

The fact that your partner refuses to talk about it with you further emphasizes how weak of a coward he is. I would advise you to dump him, he's a waste of space and someone who is undeserving of a loving person such as you. The odds are also great he will cheat on you again.

Self focused/centered thinking allows you to do terribly selfish things. It also minimizes the empathy for others and your feeling of responsibility for your action.

It took my wife a couple months to get a better understanding of this. Her counselor also helped her gain some clarity to speed this up.