Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
When the WS goes into crazy town there is also a passenger that comes along that 100% of the time is not a willing participant but is required to come along for the ride. That passenger is the BS.
Not many people talk about this but when the WS goes into crazy town - there is also a crazy town that the BS enters.
There are so many thoughts and feelings and questions and memories and you the BS trying to move on survival instincts kick in at first and people who have never been through something like this have no idea how to give you advice and the ones who have been through it 9 times out of 10 do not want to talk or hear about its too painful for them to process and bring back old memories - so you the BS just hang on for dear life while the WS goes through their crazy motions and driving around in crazy town.
For me personally, I found a new GF and I am moving on but never in a million years would I think my life would go this route or end up like this, it has been a real eye opener seeing all the single parents with their kids I was blind to all of this before. It scares you to think that someone who is suppose to protect you no matter what in life would do this to you no matter what the reason this is no legitimate reason.
Small things have changed in me I used to love listen to the radio driving to work since dday I still to this day dont like to listen to the radio while driving this thing has changed me hopefully this will pass in time. Watching TV shows where there are crazy married situations can ring a bell now. I used to be ignorant to all of this - There are so many things that I wish I never knew about life in this fashion that being ignorant to it all would have been better served life in general is complicated enough this not only complicates life but again flips it up side down. So we as the BS are also taken on this ride. I hope that I some day this fd up ride stops and I can fully get off of it.
Not many people talk about this but when the WS goes into crazy town - there is also a crazy town that the BS enters.
There are so many thoughts and feelings and questions and memories and you the BS trying to move on survival instincts kick in at first and people who have never been through something like this have no idea how to give you advice and the ones who have been through it 9 times out of 10 do not want to talk or hear about its too painful for them to process and bring back old memories - so you the BS just hang on for dear life while the WS goes through their crazy motions and driving around in crazy town.
For me personally, I found a new GF and I am moving on but never in a million years would I think my life would go this route or end up like this, it has been a real eye opener seeing all the single parents with their kids I was blind to all of this before. It scares you to think that someone who is suppose to protect you no matter what in life would do this to you no matter what the reason this is no legitimate reason.
Small things have changed in me I used to love listen to the radio driving to work since dday I still to this day dont like to listen to the radio while driving this thing has changed me hopefully this will pass in time. Watching TV shows where there are crazy married situations can ring a bell now. I used to be ignorant to all of this - There are so many things that I wish I never knew about life in this fashion that being ignorant to it all would have been better served life in general is complicated enough this not only complicates life but again flips it up side down. So we as the BS are also taken on this ride. I hope that I some day this fd up ride stops and I can fully get off of it.
If you have children and your WS goes into crazy town - you are now also in crazy town because you know have to do everything the family unit (the team) did together but only that you only now have one team member who is also trying to figure out what the heck just happened.
Meaning one parent would take care of one thing with the children - while the other parent would be free to take care of something else - and also not to mention that the kids now have to go back and forth to mommys house and daddys house and that confusion and the bills situation - all because one parent now is obsessed or is getting high so to speak from an AP.
Affairs in general are like a drug. Not just like a drug - but there have been studies that they have scanned a human brain on cocaine and one on an affair and the same chemicals are released. So your WS is a freakin druggy on drugs called happiness through sin if your WS is god fearing this is one of the worst sins humanly possible to comment so even drugs would be better not that drugs dont destroy families as well.
So your WS is on drugs and when people are on drugs - they will say and do anything to get their fix. Destroy everything to get their fix and in the mean time your dealing with the betrayal of the situation and the fact that the WS is trying to hold you down as Plan B by saying and acting in all sorts of ways that are harmful to just a normal situation let alone this situation. How cruel can someone be well your about to find out and its the person you vowed to be by through sickness and health ups and downs and someone you have memories with you are about to watch a horror show starring you and everything you cared for.
Is it the dumbest thing ever in general - yes - is it even more selfish when kids are involved - hell yes.
The only thing I can say is that Karma runs its routes and will pick up your WS and that ride will be a ride that no one will want to be on but when they made this decision they automatically purchased their ticket. When will the karma bus pick them up that is hard to say depends on a lot of factors but it will come and it does require payment.
The WS always mentions compartmentalizing - well once Pandoras box is opened - that box contains some real missed up things and depending on the damage they have done depends on how hard that box will be to keep closed and consume them when it does open.
-The OW's ex has began hanging out at her part-time job (a bar) on days that she works.
-The OW has confessed that she still has feelings for her ex
-My H is now mentioning that he is noticing a possible alcohol addiction in her & her ex enabled her with it by drinking eery night
-If my H doesn't answer his texts/calls promptly, he is automatically getting accused of cheating on her (boy oh boy that gets a chuckle out of me)
-H still discusses how insecure/jealous she is (constantly asking if he has heard anything from me & why does he want to be with her)
-The OW thinks that once H made the decision to walk away from me, that he should not be in contact with me for ANY reason. Umm, 20+ yrs of marriage can't always be untangled by one spouse.
I listen to him but told him that I won't offer guidance one way or the other....and he understands my position. You're absolutely correct, he is addicted to her like a drug & until he finally sees the light of the whole situation, no one can help him but himself. An addict must hit rock bottom before they can truly see the destruction they caused.
Also, studies have shown and if you actually look back to your realtionships in the past - most people had when in college or early 20's - that most of those realtionships ended either 1 year or at the 2 year mark - most realtionships in general - what is the definition of general?
A realtionship that neither one of you are seeing anyone - you happen to meet through a friend or some normal social setting - dating starts - you find this person attractive and enjoy spending normal time with them. That's the definition of a normal realtionship.
These realtionships are beyond normal (affairs) - its not even a realtionship - its a drug enduced coma - built on quick sand of a mixture of lies and deceit. AP has to think they did that to their H or W - wonder what is in store for me....
So - some WS are so - so freakin determined to make it work (crazy town) that the AP knows this and plays with them and openly sees other people cause they knew they pretty much have them now and there is no option Plan B anymore because the BS is so disgusted by them and all they have done that they don't want to admit they were completely wrong - again - beyond normal rational thought - and beyond stupid/selfishness.
However, no matter how long they try (the WS) to make happines though sin work - the WS is going on a roller coaster and just hoping it stops but the more they go round and round - the more motion sickness they get - they may try to medicate (however form that is) - but soon that medication - whatever form they use wears off and now they are completely sick with no medical aids left - and even more damage to look at.
They are just hoping it ends - this nightmore though sin.
What can the BS do? just stay strong - stay positive - post here - get support - which is another thing the WS has zero of cause no one supports them.
Here's another side dish that should be known - 9 times out of 10 the BS loses most of their friends... why is that? cause they have already shown they have no boundries so if its a women that cheats her women friends are thinking she has no boundries - she may try and take my man - if she did that to her poor H - Samething with the man that cheats - his buddies will be like - well u did that to your W - u may try and take my W. Good luck to your loser butt - Im all the sudden busy over here with other crap to do.
All sorts of things happen to those that cheat. They will lose a lot and whats it all for? they will turn around and think - I have lost basically everything that was once important to me... for your sorry butt? for a dude or women I really didnt know...Turns out I was freakin wrong for putting all my eggs in this rotten basket - then the resentment will start to build for the AP and the cycle will continue only now the anger will be towards the AP and not you....
Fun times...