How can he fire her without it being illegal? If she's doing her job and she's let go, couldn't she sue?

He doesn't have to fire her. He can ask her to resign and give her a good recommendation. He can ask her politely and if she wants to pull an attitude, make sure her husband finds out, because he (the husband) will make sure she resigns. And NO you should not start rebuilding or doing ANY counciling before he gets rid of her. That would be a waste of your time.

In fact I think YOU should make sure her husband finds out. He has a right to know. Then your husband won't have to worry about firing her.

I would personally want to know why he won't ask her to leave or find a reason to fire her. Is it the legality of it? If so then yes, telling her H and encouraging him to encourage her to quit would be a good idea.

I have such a similar situation. My husband's affair partner works for him as well. He will not do anything to get rid of her. But he says they have NC other than essential work matters.

This bitch is a subordinate as well as older than my H. She would have grounds for a law suit for sexual harassment as well as age discrimination! if she were fired. Her work performance is good.

I've had to suck this up. And it does suck.
Her H knows cause I've told him.

Of course, the funny thing is with this bitch staying in this job, I have leverage over her. I could always tell management and she would be tossed out or reassigned. I am betting that they would keep my H as he brings in so much business. She is much more of a replaceable
commodity.

I am always alert and if they take up with one another again, I will give no warning, I will just have a talk with management.

Just a few days ago I asked my H to ask her to resign. I told him he could even use me and say that I want her gone and will do what I need to in order for that to happen. The choice would be hers to leave or for me to tell management. He still wouldn't do it. OUCH!

My T and the MC both seemed to think that legally it was dangerous.
That my H could end up kicked out. I think that would only be true IF
the OW sued. I do not think she would because she would be exposing her affair, HERSELF. I just don't think that would happen.

It is slippery. But I like having the leverage.

As for reconciling, your husband has to deliver the message that the A is over and her husband has to know. End of story. My H was trying to keep me happy, our marriage intact, and still be friends with his bitch.
He wants everyone to like him. The MC explained to him that this just isn't going to work at all. He has to make a choice and if it's me, then too bad if the OW is mad at him. She chose to cheat and took the risks associated with that. I would enjoy being the one to deliver up those consequences!!!

I think if it's your H's company, HE MUST GET RID OF THE BITCH or you get rid of HIM.

Most states allow for termination for any reason, it does not have to be based on merit. If it is your personal business you can hire and or fire at will. She may or may not qualify for unemployment, but letting her go can be so easily done without any ramifications. Discrimination is much harder to prove than one might think. He would have to hire someone younger than her who would preform her EXACT JOB for it to be age discrimination and even then SHE has to prove it, proof comes from the accuser, not the defender. And why does she want to stay anyway, no contact "except" work related, I would question that statement. They are getting something other than work related satisfaction.

Im not sure about most states "just cause" terminations as I'm no attorney but I'm think that even in places that allow firing for any reason this situation sets up for a potential lawsuit. I mean if she wanted to make it a big deal and say she was fired because she slept with him and then stopped it could go all bad. So I think him just up and firing her may be difficult. However, in order for you to rebuild it will be so so much easier if she goes. He probably shouldn't just fire her but hopefully she will realize that she needs to go. I have no idea the emotions involved her, is she or could she be vindictive at all, did she have feelings for him that still exist etc. Most anyone will tell you that he needs to avoid any and all contact and yes I'm sure if you go to counseling and you point out that it seems impossible for you to try to mend things while she still works with him the counselor will say, well then that is a dealbreaker. My wife works with a couple of the guys she was involved with, but kind of indirectly, and there is no doubt that that makes it so much harder to move forward. She has distanced herself as much as possible, or so I think, but the problem is the what could happen. If he is intent on making it work he will have to make a choice between work and his marriage. My wife would have quit her job and looked for a new one but when we weighed everything out I decided to try to live with it the way it was. The best thing we could have done was pack everything up and move far away but again we were so established I just could make that make sense and decided to take on the extra burden of dealing with the daily reminders. Its not easy. Unless for some good reason he really cant not work with her he needs to separate himself from her by as much distance as possible.

Here in Canada an employer can terminate without cause, as long as sufficient notice is given, or pay in lieu of notice.

Check the laws for your area. You don't have to be a lawyer to figure out the law. I think people are overly intimidated by what is often written in plain English.

I worked for the OM. Our affair ended in violence. The next day I had no job. I filed an appeal to our local authority, the Labor Relations board without a lawyer. It went to a mediator and we settled on me being paid half of my severance. If I had been willing to wait I could have gone to court and won on wrongful dismissal. It wasn't worth it for me, I was just as happy to not have to face him in court.

I think that, as an employer, it is important to know the law, your rights and responsibilities, and be careful to operate within those boundaries.

Thank you so much for your candor and honest feedback.

He owns a small business. She is 1 of his 2 employees. The other employee resigned in part over the affair cause she was not happy with working in that environment. She was there the day I confronted the affair partner. He since has hired a new employee to take the place of the employee who resigned.

He claims he feels loyalty to his affair partner. He claims he was suicidal and was able to share things with her that he could not share with me or others. (Most of my friends and family call "bullshit" on that) Claims he has always felt he was not good enough for me. I think they are not physically together and do not appear to be seeing each other outside of work, but his attachment to her still is so odd.

It appears he has set "some" boundaries with the help of his IC. No riding in the car together, no going to meetings together, any free trips the office wins he will take and not give away to the affair partner, etc. It is still not where it needs to be but I have seen more progress from him in the last 4 weeks than in the previous 3 months of his individual counseling. I hate to set myself up for more hurt but not sure if a couple sessions of MC would help clarify one way or the other. MY concern is my IC said the MC will talk about us and not the OW. My friends all assumed a good MC or IC would get thru to him she cannot stay if we are to work.

In terms of legality. Initially, we were all freaked out about that and I got his name off our house pretty quickly. Based on the facebook messages I have seen between the two of them, while I agree he was the aggressor she was manipulating and stroking his ego Others who have seen them together agree she is a willing participant. She traveled on business trips with him and she still has pics of the two of them on her Facebook page.

Her husband was sent some information anonymously but rumor has it she lied her way out of it. She has two teenage daughters.

No one thinks she is wiling to sue and drag her family and friends thru it. The job to be honest is not that high paying. The perks were all the free trips she was getting. Her community thinks she is a devout Seventh Day Adventist and she tells others she goes to counseling for her husbands own infidelities. She just "liked" a post on my exs Facebook page the other day. Long story short, everyone thinks she would have a really tough time claiming harassment. His former employee and anyone else in their office complex would not support her claims if she went that route.

His attachment to her remains because she still.strokes his ego. The fact that she is willing to endure the drama at work, lie in order to stay near him, may be enough for him. My OM was in it for ego far more than for sex.

If you think of this in chemical/addiction terms, he's getting a low level,dose, like a maintenance dose of his drug of choice, just enough to keep him from withdrawals, and mired in the foggy thinking of the affair.

You are right to think that he will not get clear of that thinking as long as he is getting that low fire of his drug. An alcoholic does not recover while having one drink a day.

She can sue him for sexual harassment regardless of whether or not she is fired or quits, and regardless of her consent to the affair. She could sue him now even as a current employee. All she needs is one inappropriate e-mail or text from him prior to her sending him any and she has a legit case and would likely get a settlement.

The fact that it is such a small company means that the two of them are in constant interaction during the work day. The fact that she still works there and hasn't resigned means that she still wants to be near him. He could make her a work at home employee. I would start counseling just to see what advice the counselor may have, because this seems like a no-win situation for your marriage. I would have him meet with his lawyer and tell him the situation to see what he could do at this point to protect himself from a possible lawsuit.

This is the perfect example of the phrase, "Don't sh!t where you eat."

Yes start counseling if you want to continue to try to make it work. He has got to make a choice its either she goes or your chances of healing are severely diminished. I dont think he should just up and fire her and open up legal issues but I think they need to come to the understanding that she needs to go. Since they are still having contact anyway they can work this out. You would think if she is so intent on covering her tracks and keeping everything from her friends, husband, church etc she would want to get as far away from the situation as possible. As for the MC not talking about the OW they will talk about whatever is the most pressing issue at the time, and currently breaking contact with the OW is at the top of the list. Couples therapy post affair is quite a bit different from what many think of a marriage counseling, that is what should have happened before the affair that is the choice the CS should have made instead of cheating.

Thanks again for the time everyone took to respond. He is seeing a second IC tomorrow actually. He has problems opening up and there is some concern from his first IC that he will not even be able to open up in MC. I am learning what some of his issues are but not all.

It just shows how he still want to be with you. So you can still go on with your marriage. You should work things out as husband and wife for the sanctity of your marriage and also for your kids if you have any. You can't move on if you cannot forgive your husband but if you really want to win him back and save your marriage despite his infidelity I would recommend you this site where I sought help and I hope this could help you too. :)

Here it is and see if it works for you
http://WinRomanceBack.info

Update:
He claims the 2nd IC suggested we take a 3-4 week break since our discussions get so heated over the OW/AP. That makes no sense to me. How can you work on your relationship if you do not talk?