Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Heartbrokenly_Confused 08/18/2016

Well I am new here and I am embarrassed to talk to my friends and Family about my marriage and it's problems because I have tried so hard to make my husband sound so great and so amazing for years that now I feel like the jokes on me.. First I will begin with some history.. We have been together for 15 years and married for 13 years.. At first things where amazing..I noticed right off the bat he loved gazing and staring at other female's but growing up with boys I knew it was okay..(very hurtful but it's human nature).. Thru the years I always caught him lies after lies and I still have him the benefit of the doubt.. I got super depressed and got hospitalized for a while..once I got out I chose to leave him for awhile to find myself again and breathe..since our reconciliation..I have found out he has been obsessed with pork and dating sites for quick hook ups.. I have found other women's numbers and pictures on his IPad and numerous email accounts.. I have confronted him with my evidence and he denied it then kicked me out and our kids.. Later he wanted to try to make the marriage work and I forgave him.. Just to find out he is doing this again.. But now he wants to work outside of town and wants to start purchasing condoms..he's excuse is he doesn't want to get me pregnant even though I have my tubes clipped and burned.. He is obsessed with his weight and hits the gym at all weird hours ..refused to enroll in an all man gym..said the co-ed he attends in cheaper.. He watches hours and hours of porn and when I confront him he gets angry and threatens to kick me out again.. I have no where to go and my family has no idea what is going on..I feel like a failure.. I still love this man so much ..we have history..he was there for me thru my illness.. My depression.. My rape when we first started to date..he was my first everything.. I don't know what to do or what to think anymore.. Can someone please offer me some advice

calirn13 08/19/2016

How is it he can kick you out if your home? It's your house also....
Find a lawyer get some advice.

Lenoire 08/19/2016

I agree with Cali, go and see a lawyer for a one hour free consultation, most offer them. Then I'd tell your family, and get them to help you, if you feel threatened in your own home. You need to get away from this man to a safe place for yourself and your children. Staying with him is setting an example for your children, and if you don't remove them from this toxic environment, they will grow up to think it's okay to be like dad. Protect yourselves.

There's no time like today.

I wish you well.

Heartbrokenly_Confused 08/19/2016

I will today!.. Thank you so much.. My heart is heavy and eyes swollen with tears but I love my children more and they need me more then ever!.. Thank you

Lenoire 08/19/2016

None of this is your fault, know that. You did nothing to contribute to his infidelity, absolutely nothing. He is fully responsible for this. Anything he says to you that differs, is pure bullshit, and he, like many cheaters, don't want to accept responsibility for it, believe they're entitled to it, and shit on their loyal spouses in order to facilitate it. It's disgusting behaviour, and you and your children are worth so much more than being around him.

With some time, your heavy heart will shift, so long as you can see him for who he is, and for what he's done to your family. Why they do this, is not worth trying to figure out. Most of the time it's an insecurity about themselves, or a longing for things they felt they never had in life. But it has nothing to do with you, and trying to find reason, or asking them why, is counterproductive to your grief and healing, not to mention they'll probably lie, distort reality to suit themselves, denigrate and dump on you to keep you still.

Your children love you and you are their queen, and queens don't fall because of MF asshole husbands. They get back up and take the steps necessary to fortify and protect their kingdom.

Let us know how you make out.

Broken01 08/19/2016

Be careful with the condoms. Just don't have sex with him. This is how I ended up with herpes. I trusted his words, but he is a liar. Now even if I divorce, I'm damaged. Prayers for you

betrayedtodeath 08/19/2016

The fact that he still won't tell the truth and his reaction towards you is anger when confronted tells you exactly where he's at. He's not ready or willing to give up his games. Keep yourself safe, see a lawyer, get therapy for yourself and most importantly know that all this mind f-ing is not about you. Hugs!

stillstuck 08/21/2016

He's a huge POS. Run run as fast as you can.

shoretimenow 08/22/2016

A few things:
If he is buying condoms and communicating with more than one woman on an Ipad he's a serial cheater and possibly has a sex addiction. Sex addictions and serial cheating are extremely hard to overcome and he would need a lot of therapy, a plan, and tools to overcome. He doesn't sound like hes anywhere near that. As crass as the above poster sounds, (he's a POS, run as fast as you can)...he's kinda right......this man is not in a place that will bring anything to positive into your life and life is too short to live with someone waiting, wondering, watching......you are responsible for your own happiness, get some therapy yourself to bring yourself up and to learn how to empower yourself and move on without him.

And whats that response from "broken01"...totally missed that post.....You ended up with herpes from your husband and are stating 'even if I divorce him?" EVEN??? That should be a no brainer.

Ladies, ladies, ladies.....why do you even entertain the idea of staying with men who are persistently cheating on you? and especially with men that bring home STDs? Do you really have that low of a self esteem? Do you really feel this bad about yourself that you feel you deserve to live a life like this? Life is too short to stay in (sic) 'relationships' such as these.

spitmanfl 08/22/2016

My H is a sex addict. I was in the dark for 27 years when it all came to light. There were multiple affairs and porn...but...BUT when I got that anonymous email which began the journey toward truth, he crashed. He crashed and sought recovery and radical change, and has been a new person/new man for over two years. It can happen...it is rare, but it requires literal, radical change on the part of the cheater. If your husband is buying condoms, watching porn, getting defensive and angry at you when confronted by these behaviors? I would absolutely not consider staying in the marriage. Why don't you kick him out? Have you seen an attorney? And if there is a strong spouse support group around, I'd suggest it. The women in my group are amazing...have stellar insight and advice...and have helped me find my voice and my strength. Be kind to yourself - it is not your fault.

Heartbrokenly_Confused 08/22/2016

I thank all of You for all your advice and I have seen a lawyer and kicked him out!.. He pitched a fight with me outside and the cops where called but he left ..he had my car picked up today since it was under his name but I don't care..I am free and see the light .. My kids cry for him and they are mad at me but in time they will understand it wasn't a happy home for them and myself...

starbright 10/04/2016

I just read your post. I really thought I had it bad, but yours is so sad. I truly am sorry. My husband and I have been married for 23 years and a couple years ago he went on Ashley Madison the cheaters website:( he said it was an add on porn site says was just curios, so stupid!!! But I too always had the good guy that family and friends didn't think could do anything wrong. I never saw it coming blind sided, back stabbed over and over the level of betrayal is so sinful it makes me sick. We are still picking up the pieces but I'm always wondering if it's behind me. I hate all of his electronics he even used farm vile to cheat with her, told her he loved her:( just know you are not alone it seems like this happens more than we thought. I just thought if you truly love some one you do nothing to hurt them. Feel free to contact me:)

Lenoire 10/05/2016

Thank you for updating us, and so happy to hear you have broken free from him.

I wish you and your children well.

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