I'm so sorry. Big hugs to you and your kiddos. He sounds like an ass. Sorry. Hope you will find yourself happier and stronger very soon.

I don't know how long you have held on and given it you best try, but no matter the amount of time if you feel you have not gotten the change you were expecting then you know in your heat that it may be time to move on and out.

It will not be easier but in time you will regain your strengh, and show your daughters that a women who stands up for themselves is a women they want to be.

Take care and good luck

Sending you support, Mama. Coming to terms with this is so hard.

I am with Desire...it's so important for you to show your girls your self worth. It does mean so much.

L~

We had a long talk last night for the first time in over 3 years..I told him I know things are over...told him I have started to look for a second job and he needs to look for a full time job instead of his part time..he said I should find one first..he wants to see if he can just stay at his current job..he wants then to pool "our" money and pay everything from "one pot"..how nice for him seeing as if I will be making more than him..and he didn't even mention child support..and then got angry when I said no..thats not how it works..oh yeah..and did I mention he wants to take all our income tax this year and get himself a small house..he cant live in an apt...and wants me to apply for the mortage with him as he won't qualify for one without my income..no mention of the pain he has caused or what losing his family will do...said he will come to my home every day???What planet does he live in???I really think he has no touch with reality...oh man

Mama, have you read the healing library over at surviving infidelity.com? Please do. Especially the 180.

Your last post scared the crap out of me that this guy is going to talk you into making several really bad financial decisions for you and your girls long-term financial health.

I think if I had the conversation you had last night I would be at an attorney's office today!

Fuck him. Leave me you leave my money and good credit. You worry about you and your kids that is all. Show those girls how a strong woman rises above. He can go live in a gutter. He is not your problem or responsibility anymore.

Mama, so sorry I haven't gotten back to you, I had my daughter in the ER all yesterday. I would listen to these women, they are all so ridiculously strong especially Myhsucks(who kicks ass).

Unfortunately you aren't going to change someone that has so obviously given up on you. How do you even go a month without talking, that is just down right ridiculous.

Take their advice and rise above(thanks Mim) and let him figure out his own life. You owe him nothing.

Sending you love, strength and everything else you could ever want.

I felt the sadness in your post. I lived with a man who didn't care about me. We had children and I felt I wanted to keep our family together. I also kidded myself that he cared more than he did. I didn't think we could have done so much together and him not care. Then I found out he'd been seeing someone else for years. We're not together now. I know how it is to not feel cared about. Hugs.
4 girls are watching you!

Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart....I need the encouragement and I'm so glad I have found people who will listen to me. You have no idea how long I have felt like a worthless piece of throwaway trash...I want you all to know that YOU have literally been my lifeline..and I now know I am worth something...well..I've always known I was something,but feeling it is altogether something else. I am stronger now than I have ever been..20 years in a marriage where someone could care less about me..I have an inner peace like I have ever known....he no longer controls me and I will not let him take 1 more moment from me..he has taken enough. Rest assured he will NOT get my money or credit....it is my turn to heal and strive for peace and a great life with me and my girls....I'm so sorry we have all been through this..but..I am more grateful than you will ever know that I have found you....thank you al for making me feel like I do now..I have hope...oh yea..and thanks for making me cry my eyes out!!!LOL..but for once,they are tears of joy..

When you start to feel relief and then peace, you will know you have made the right decision. Its never easy letting go, but sometimes its necessary to be whole and healthy again.

Move on, get strong and show him he isnt the reason you breathe. It sounds like he enjoys the power he has over you and has some need to put you down in order to feel better about himself. Sorry buddy, those days are OVER! Take your life back mama and be happy, you deserve it!

Mama, you are stronger than you think. You've just forgotten that woman. She's still there, you know.

Stop begging him for anything! It sounds like he should be begging you not to throw his ass out on the street.

You need to develop your own plan (for you and your girls). See a lawyer to review your options. If you have a joint account, close it. You need to have your money where only YOU can access it. It doesn't sound like he has any.

Time to put the screws on. Decide where you and your girls will live. Do not include him in your plan and do not discuss it with him until you are ready to make your move. At that point, 'inform' him of the change. He doesn't get veto rights or an opinion.

Once you start looking forward, you'll start to feel better. You just have to make up your mind that enough is really enough.

A month long silent treatment..... Really??? Time for a change!! No more feeling sorry for yourself until this is over. Start now to separate your life from his. He's already started to separate his life from you. However, he still wants you to pay for his life.

Sign a mortgage for/with him.... Really?? Let his ass sleep on the curb. Just not in front of your house.

It's time to show this loser how it's going to be from now on!!

Hope I don't sound mean. That's just how I roll.

Sending strength and support....