There 's a Pink Floyd song "Coming back to life " that seemed to fit me ,and my H , killing of the past and coming back to life ,, it has been roughly 18 months give or take a few weeks or a month or so , since this nightmare began ,it all started with me intercepting two calls one was a voice mail back in Dec 07 . that is the night he slept with his co worker ,and left/lost his wallet in her jeep ,he chose the latter , so much has happened since then to now ,after that incident in 07 , he did not tell me the truth until almost a year later when I knew something just was not right ,so I managed to access my sister in laws cell phone account on line to look at the bills I knew it would tell me all that I needed to know ,up until then he told me some Bullshite story about some chick he picked up in a bar last feb 08 and slept with her, though I knew the whole time it was this whore of a co worker of his , I accessed this account at the beginning of Nov last year ,I knew I was going to see her number after months of checking his cell phone I knew this whole time I was waiting for one of them to trip up , they both did he forgot to delete her new work cell number off his phone it was one digit different then the last one ,I guess he did not think I would realize this duh??? well nothing could prepare me for what I seen, it was not a few calls over the year they were calling each other anywhere from 2 to 8 times a day, with in minutes talk for long periods of time, I only hear the one message back in 07 , i didn't know what to day , the only thing I could do was laugh ,it was that it was that extreme ,this whole thing up until this past Oct was so complicated, he was always home after work ,he always called me ,mind you to tell me he was working late or he was on his way home I went back through the cell bills and it went back 18 months the phone tag started between them about Oct 07, he never talked to me his wife for more then 18 minutes on the cell phone he talked to like 80 minutes ,47 minutes , this was everyday ,After the cheating in Dec , he was always home ,but he talked to her everyday , his checks always reflected his over time I kept track trust me, everything added up ,other then the phone calls ,well I called him home and had his bags packed and told him to get the f%##4 out ,it's her you want , not me ,I threw the phone bills in his face ,"you made a fool out of me ,I knew it was her the whole time ,"I yelled ,so he left and got his apartment ,I thought that is what he wanted was out , so he could be with his shop whore , I got pissed off two days after he left and called his job and flat out asked them who this number belonged to and why was it calling my husband several times a day off work hours, I was as shocked as hell when she actually told me ,I didn't think she would Sherry Taylor, that was her name, finally after all this time I had a name well then I went back through the phone bills low an behold she screwed up ,she called from her home so I called and left two messages they were polite but stressed, never thought I would get a call back ,well her Husband called me back with in 15 minutes ,he suspected the same thing I did, he knew for some time that something was going on with her, so we talked for awhile , well I would of love to seen the look on her face when she realized I knew who she was now ,I guess it was no longer funny to her, the shit just got real for her ,.Then I started to focus on what I was going to do, I just assumed it was over between my H and I , then he started calling me a million times aday , crying , begging, sleeping out in our drive in his truck , e have been married close to 15 years, he was a wreck ,I had never seen him like this, I was stunned I did not know what to say or do , I am like I just spent the last year or so doing this , trying ot save our marriage and you blew me off ,to talk to your whore AND NOW ... your sorry and your hurt and you want your family back ,after all that you did, he went to great lengths to lie and cover his tracks ,we have since started to heal and work it out and he has been honest, not like before , he told me everything ,how can trust him how can i know ... he talked to her everyday ,for months ,several times a day ,he slept with her just once he swears on the graves of our unborn children ,witch he has never done ,i check his e mail and cell bills ,there has been no contact in almost 2 months, but still how can he go from one extreme to the other, her Husband told me that she told him that my Husband was stalking her and would not leave her alone ,well the cell bills told other wise ,she lied and cheated and just is a horrible person, I don't get it ,can people like my Husband really change ,this has never happened ot us before this was so out of the blue , he just watched his dad go through a bitter divorce because his stop mom was cheating on his dad, I don't understand it, how can I ever trust him again he put so much effort into lying, well the whole shop knows, her whole family knows ,everyone knows, and the funny thing is that she blames me ,.... Can you kill the past and come back to life or are we doomed , can you ever trust someone again after they have hurt you so much ? sometimes I feel like such a fool.