My wife had an affair 3 years ago, I forgave her but I can't stop thinking about the affair and knowing what really actually happened.  She says it got physical one time and to her it was kind of like sex, whatever that means.  So in 2015 my fiance at the time confessed to having an emotional affair with a co worker that got physical one night.  She works at a hospital as a supervisor and she had this one employee of hers whom she became very friendly and attached too.  He was a young single guy who would always hang out with us and friends and would never bring anyone with him.  I started noticing how my wife acted when he was around always very happy and laughing alot.  She would always call him to come out with her and her girls. I started feeling threatned by him so i told her i only wanted her around him if I was there.  She would always say i was overeacting and they were like brother and sister. Well lt me say me and my wife were also going through a rough time always arguing not speaking for days. And to note we have 2 young kids together.  Well in Jan 2015 I noticed she was always acting strange around me so i asked her one night did she have something to tell me.

Well she said she let someone get too close to her and it was her employee who i always feared.  She said it was a 4 month emotional affair where they would sneakinly text each other late when i wasn't around and they would hang out together but she would tell me she was with her girlfriends.  Then she said one night she went out with 2 of her girlfriends to a bar and got really drunk and afterward called him and said she wanted to come over.  Now here is the part that is driving me crazy.  When she first confessed she told me they kind of had sex. I asked what does that mean and she said it was very intense and physical and alot of rubbing and kissing.  Then later on she says to her it was sex because his private was touching her v and rubbing on it.  Well i respect that she confessed but she made up a phony story about what happened at first.  She lied and said they were hanging out together and after he invited her to his car and they started kissing.  Then the next day she sat me down and said that wasn't true and what happened was she left the bar with her friends and called him and went to his house.  She said she felt so guilty and had to tell me after it happened.  She said she was really drunk and only wanted to go over to his house to sober up for a while.

Well i forgave her and we got married a year later but i can't stop thinking about what really happened with them. She refuses to talk about it now and when she does talk about it she tells me different answers from the last time or says i don't remember i was too drunk that night.  What should i do it's been 3 years and i can't get thoughts/images out my head about them together.  She is still his boss but says now the only time they talk is about work.  From her answers i'm not sure if they actually had sex or was just rubbing on each other. Can someone give me some advice?