Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
My wife had a physical only affair a little over two years ago. It wiped me out. I knew nothing after that. Everything that I thought I knew was proven to not be real. From the start we chose to go to counseling and to start a new. I had no idea what I was doing. The easiest way I can describe it is that I felt like an infant. Learning everything short of walking again.
Fast forward to present day. Last night while in foreplay we had to pause multiple times so She could yawn. I froze. Couldn't talk. I rolled over and stared at the wall until I fell asleep. This morning I get a call from Her trying to make my embarrassment and humiliationless, make me not feel unwanted, unimportant, worthless. In the process she tells me sex is not that important to her, it's not something she feels like she needs (except her affair was only sex, her online sextcapades were about sex and flirting). She explained that the sex with her affair meant nothing to her but that it stroked her ego to be wanted in that way.
our entire relationship, I have been unable to keep my hands off of her. Never a day has passed where I didn't show that. I bet she didn't yawn with her affair partner.
starting to feel like this is a sinking ship
Give her space, in doing so check yourself.
Check your health, check your fitness level, Check your wardrobe.
Check you finances. check you hobbies, check you job.
Write down what you find out about yourself.
Study the results, where are you in your life?
Be nice, polite and respectful of your wife and marriage, but refrain from any psychical attention unless she starts it. Then only give what you get. Practice this for 30 days, then revisit your list.
My New Reality is that my hero is me in 5 years. In order to do that I have to adjust the subconscious paradigms, collection of habits, that got me in a relationship where I struggle to get my needs met from an intimacy anorexic who spends a great deal of time energy and effort keeping me at a distance.
One of the things that I have struggle with as I am redefining myself is what my ideal marriage look like. So far She is totally capable of participating in that future relationship, but not at all willing to acknowledge understand I'll take responsibility for her part in the dynamic we are in together
It's interesting that it kind of turns out that the great marriage that I intend to participate in 5 years involves me being a great husband. If she's not willing or able to be the great wife that I need for that great relationship to work then maybe she will be gone by then.
My apologies we responded to your post unloading my crap. I don't know what your part in setting up the environment where your partner felt like she needed to cheat but I would think that your lack of intimacy during sex is symptomatic of your lack of intimacy in other areas. I don't think 30 days is enough I think three to six months is a more effective time of abstinence to uncover what's going on. Usually the women are very comfortable at the beginning of abstinence. Like that but then after they realize that the status quo is changing they pull out all the stops to try to get it back to the old normal including being pretty aggressive about sex. The benefits to the relationship come after you both settle down and rebuild the basics of intimacy of the Mind and heart. Sexual intimacy is a symptom of mental and spiritual intimacy. So a lack of sexual intimacy is likely a symptom of problems with spiritual and mental intimacy.
Sex is only part of it. They made her feel sexy. It’s not about the sex .. it’s the way it make her feel about herself.
If she’s tired don’t have sex.
What’s her love language?
Make your plan and leave.
So repeating yawning during foreplay or sex may be your wife's attempts to "wake up" or energize herself for a bout of sex play. Sounds to me like a good reason to get offended.