So as the title states August 13th will be 1 year since D-Day.  What's funny is i actually called it that before ever discovering these forums.  But August 13th 2018 was the day I found out my wife had cheated on me twice with what I thought at the time was my best friend. When i say best friend, I mean best friend to the extent that he was best man at our wedding, my kids called him uncle W***, he was my freaking daughters godfather. But more on him later. My wife and I have been married for 8 years and together for 12. We were going through a rough patch when everything happened. I know part of it was my fault for the way i treated her, I was very emotionally abusive, never physical, but one isn't better than the other.  I knew when we were going through our hardships that something was going on with her. I just had that gut feeling and i was completely right.  I also feel as if he took advantage of her situation because he claims he was only trying to help mine and her marriage in the beginning. I even saw him the day that i found out everything. Here came over to my house just to hang out for a min before heading home, acted like everything was cool.  I found out later that day by her telling me, saying she just couldn't hold it in anymore. She has really tried to help me and still does too this day. We have worked through most of our issues and i feel our relationship is better because of it. But i still go through my down periods about once a month or so, where i just get depressed and down, and sometimes really angry.  It has affected our sex life to some extent, and sometimes when i look at her in that way all i can think about is the fact that my "best friend" has also seen her in that way.  We live in a small town, and we live close to my best friend, literally 1/2 mile from where i currently sit typing this out.  We have 2 kids who are none the wiser and were the main reason we have worked everything out.  My wife can't work, she was diagnosed last year with a nerve disorder.  So during this whole time I was working a full time job and supporting her and the kids while she was out doing this.  That in itself makes me resent her for doing it, which I don't want to do.  With D-Day approaching i don't really know how it will effect me mentally. Just want to get some input and thoughts from people who have been through this since i have NO ONE to talk to about it other than my W.  In a year's time this is the most open I've been about if to anybody. Also to this day I haven't confronted him face to face because honestly I'm scared of how angry I will get If I see his face. And as much as I want to cave his face in with my fist, I know in the end that will help nothing. But about once every month, month and a half he will try to contact me in one way or another. I've blocked his number, Facebook everything. But he finds ways. Just yesterday he posted a message in a group chat that hasn't been used in over 2 years, with me, him and another mutual friend. Literally just to start a conversation with the other friend but knowing I would see it being a group message. None of our mutual friends know, it's honestly just too embarrassing for me and I don't want them to judge my wife for a mistake. Sorry for rambling it's a years worth of stuff to get off of my chest. Any thoughts, inputs or even questions. Because there is much I haven't covered.