Perhaps she is "between affairs" and thinks rekindling an old one is less work than acquiring a new one. After all, she is 5 years older and more rode hard and put up wet looking, right?

Are you 100% sure there is NC between them?
Even negative contact is contact and where there is contact, there is hope.
And negative contact can be him telling her to leave him alone or maybe there has been a mixed message in there to keep bringing her back.

How does she know where he is going to be?
I wonder if she is doing all this in front of you, what she is doing behind your back.

After 5 years, its pretty crazy that she hasn't moved on. She can be a bona fide stalker (i.e. like fatal attraction), in which you may be able to get a restraining order, I think. He needs to be firm, one final time, and in writing or you can say something to her, it might scare her away....and once she stops getting even negatively rewarded for her appearances, she may stay away.

Seems to me that this bitch needs a new hobby. She's obviously sniffing around, looking for trouble. As tempting as it might be to say something, your message is best delivered by ignoring her and looking happy, secure, and unthreatened. It's pathetic. It shows how alone and empty she is.

To add to Shoretime's post:

"She can be a bona fide stalker (i.e. like fatal attraction), in which you may be able to get a restraining order, I think. He needs to be firm, one final time, and in writing or you can say something to her, it might scare her away....and once she stops getting even negatively rewarded for her appearances, she may stay away. "

If this AP/OW is in a line of work that is professional, such as a teacher or a nurse, or anything else that requires a license, etc., your H most likely has more leverage in getting her to stop if she is led to believe that her behavior will be reported to an agency if she doesn't stop her little games. Sometimes the threat of something seriously affecting ones career is enough. It certainly worked for us with a nurse.

If your H sends her the letter spelling out that she needs to leave him alone and that what she is doing he is considering as stalking by certified mail, most likely that in itself will have more impact on her than an e-mail would.

Also---document, document, document the times and dates of all her shenanigans.

Good luck.

Single OW are notoriously nuts ... because what self-respecting woman would want a married man (and all that means) when there are plenty of eligible bachelors? I had to file a restraining order to get ours to cease and desist.

I would agree with shoretime's comment: "Even negative contact is contact - and where there is contact, there is hope."

I think there is something seriously wrong with your H's former AP. Like, "boil the rabbit" wrong.

When my wife and I separated, I became friends with a girl I knew in high school. She found me on Facebook. We emailed, texted, and talked on the phone. She lives a thousand miles away and I haven't actually seen her in 20 odd years. She is married, so I certainly wasn't going to take it anywhere. But gradually, I began to realize... Hmmm... Something is not right with this woman. Eventually, a mutual friend contacted me and said "She is completely obsessed with you. You are all she thinks and talks about. She is planning to leave her husband and kids and move to your city to be with you." I had no idea. NO IDEA.

So I sent her an email to say "I'm not comfortable with this and I don't want to be friends anymore. Please focus on your marriage."

She TOTALLY freaked out. She called me 100 times a day, leaving all kinds of manic, wild, stream-of-conscious voice mails; she emailed and texted me at all hours of the day and night. Sent packages of stuff to my children. This went on for two months. I had gone NC with her, but finally I sent her an email to say "If you do not leave me alone, I will seek protective and no-contact orders in your state, and restraining orders in my state. The Sheriff will show up at your door to serve you, and I guarantee that your husband, children, and neighbors will learn all about this."

Now I only hear from her about twice per month.

My H worked with his OW and was still trying to be the nice guy after Dday. He didn't want it to be "awkward" at work.

Ummmm ... hello!

Generally speaking, CS tend to be conflict avoiders and want everyone to like them. Hence the problem with boundaries and a firm NO. If it ever gets to the point where she's contacting him at home then you should get involved. Until then, its on him to keep her at a distance.

She wants attention, so him ignoring her will have the biggest sting.

Thank you all for you valuable and comforting feedback. #1 made me laugh and lord knows I need that. #2: she knows where he is because there is a work grapevine. He has been firm to the point of rudeness with her, and he's now ignoring her so she doesn't get feedback.#3 She is married and I would have thought she would reinvest in that relationship? It is pathetic, but I have no sympathy for her.#4 She is a corrections officer( scary isn't it?).#5 I think she has abandonment issues related to her dad. My H is 20 plus years older than she. He's a very nice person when he isn't being a dumb ass, and she fell for him.#6 Her contacts are getting fewer and that is encouraging to me. Sorry you ran into a nut! #7 My H fits that description exactly. She has not contacted either of us at home for some time. I just wish she would go away. It is upsetting for me even this far down the line. I'm so glad I posted about this, you guys have helped me a lot, thanks again.

As someone who has had some law enforcement training, when I was in training I learned that law enforcement officers are held to a higher standard of behavior than non-law enforcement officers. Things that they say or do that appear threatening are looked upon with much more scrutiny than the average guy off the street. At least that is the way it is in our state. This AP/OW, is most likely licensed through an agency in your state, and if so, you have the capability to make things very unpleasant for her regarding her stalking behavior. Since she works in law enforcement, she probably realizes that more often than not, sending someone a certified letter means that an attorney has been involved. Might be worth a shot.

I concur that no contact is the best thing IF it works, but in this case, evidently over 5 years that has not been working. She needs to have her cage rattled a bit, I do believe.

Sarah thank you for your input. I wish there was such a situation here but there is no licence, just a college degree. She is pretty much bullet proof too. You probably know the drill." Pretty little thing who can do no wrong etc". She has been very sneaky about it so it's all in how it gets interpreted. I would just come off as a jealous female trying to cause the little darling problems she doesn't deserve.The mills of god grind slowly but exceeding fine, or at least I hope they do. I am just glad to have the commiseration from all of you. Thank you so much.

That is too bad. I hate it when people can put things over on everybody. As for this sentence--

"I would just come off as a jealous female trying to cause the little darling problems she doesn't deserve."

I would think not so much if it was your H who sent her a letter via certified mail indicating a cc to your lawyer. He is the one she is following around, it would need to come from him.

I hope that the no contact thing works, maybe it will since the frequency seems to be diminishing. Maybe she will find her next victim along the way and she can leave you guys alone.

I'd be careful of giving this bitch any attention. She likes it. Think of the wrestling with a pig thing. Unless things heat up, ignoring her and silence are a strong message. Live well, look and be happy and let that message get circulated through the grapevine.