Hello, my husband and I met through a mutual friend back in 2011 and we were married within 3 months of dating. He was my soul mate. In 2014 we had twin boys. Our relationship suffered when we found out or boys had some delays a micro deletion in chromosome 5 and diagnosed high functioning autistic. We argued alot over anything and everything but we still had our good times. In my eyes I didn't think anything was so bad that we would split it anything, but once the boys were born we rarely ever were intimate. He said to me one time that he couldn't do it because the boys would be sleeping in the same room as us. It didn't bother me too much but sometimes it did, we would go months without having sex. I never suspected him off cheating out anything like that at all, it just wasn't his nature and family and close friends of his would say that was one thing I should never worry about. He's never cheated on anyone and I knew it was true. It's a feeling you have when you just know.. But as that feeling of knowing securely he didn't cheat turned tables. In September 2019 he cheated on me with the only female co worker at his job. He was messaging her through snap chat. He lied to me that particular Saturday and my gut feeling I knew in all my heart something was going on and sure enough he told me he was going to meet up with a buddy from work and go to this concert little thing we have in our town on weekends in the summer. Yes he sure was with a co worker. HER. I caught him immediately on it I blasted him and her on social media I was infuriated and absolutely distraught. My whole life ended right then and there. I really felt like I was going to die. He had an awesome job and I was a stay at home mom with our boys and we lived very comfortably. What was I going to do now? I couldn't get a job because I didn't have anyone to watch my boys, no family or anything. He straight left me and abandoned our boys. He moved in his mom's which was 2 doors down and removed me from the bank account the whole 9..a friend of mine was taking donations for my boys and I because he left us with absolutely nothing!! I begged, cried, pleaded for him to come back and he wouldn't, he even asked for a divorce. Time stood still. I couldn't breathe. Me and the boys stayed in the house and he did pay the bills but that's because his mama was riding him and he took pity on me smh. I spiralled and started dating this guy that was alot younger than me, his mom and I were good friends but she's 10 years older than me. I found a trailer to rent with the boyfriend and we moved out in November 2019. For the first several months my husband didn't bother hardly to ask about the boys or anything, like he fell off the face of the earth. We started talking a little more in June 2020 it was close to the boys birthday and he started getting them every other weekend on Sunday for a few hours. Things got more comfortable and I actually came to the house and would sit and talk for a while before leaving picking up the boys. So the husband birthday is in July and he asked would we stay and eat with him for his birthday, well of course we did. I still very much wanted my family back I wanted my husband back! Things with the boyfriend became splotchy and I learned he was cheating on me with his ex girlfriend!! Ugh! So the husband offered for us to come back home until I could get back on my feet. I was over the moon so excited! I was getting my family back! Moved back and things were ackward as I moved into the spare bedroom, he slept on the couch. Now being here since August 2020 I've learned he has a drug addiction, has sold everything he had, quit his job and just had no desire to do better. He lives breathes and sleeps this drug. We tried to get back together, but the spark wasn't there on his end.. We had a argument the other night over his drug habit and leaving and staying gone for hours on end and I told him we were just being miserable and just tell me you don't want this relationship and he said he didn't. He removed our marriage status on Facebook and removed me entirely from his page. Hell, he's been sleeping on the couch anyway when we weren't fighting smh. I'm so sad!!! I'm heart  broken all over again!!! This person isn't even the man I married anyway.. He's a shell of someone he used to be. I don't believe he's running around with women because he's so tied up in his habit that that's all he cares about now. Once again I'm here with nowhere to go. My boys are happy they are home, they are in their school district. This is where my boys need to be! But I don't want to be somewhere im not wanted. I feel like he brought us back so the boys SSI could pay his bills. I can't trust him and he lies all the time now about everything. I just want him back but the love has died on his end. This won't ever work and I literally feel like dying all over again.