Your wedding anniversary is meant to celebrate the day you two took vows to love, honor, and cherish one another. Seems hard to do when you know that didn't happen.

We had our 29th anniversary 4 days after dday. Needless to say, our focus was more on sorting through what had happened and where do we go from here more than celebrating our marriage.

In one way it was good, because we had planned a weekend getaway at a B&B, in that it gave us plenty of time to hash through stuff without distractions. We could focus on it, which was helpful for me. That said, it will certainly go down as the oddest anniversary we've ever had.

But if he is open to it, you could make that a day to do a checkup on where you are at, the health of the marriage, and where you are both going with rebuilding. Have whatever fun you can, but at two months out there is not going to be a sense of celebrating unless miracles have happened. There's no sense in faking it just for appearances. But dealing with what is on your mind is certainly in order.

If he's not open to that, then he'll have to deal with your emotional fallout instead of having a productive day. You're not going to feel like celebrating. At the same time, don't hesitate to acknowledge any positive steps and progress either of you have made, no matter how small. That you can celebrate.

I'm not looking forward to mine really so I won't be planning anything. Whatever happens, happens.

I wish I could NOT think about the fact that while he was confessing how much he loved me and telling everyone "hey it our anniversary"...he wasn't calling is work girlfriend on our anniversary.

So I say observe the day but you don't have to celebrate it and confess and do things you don't feel. If you were not doing it and feeling it the day before and be willing to do the day after don't do it. The faking will only confuse things and you both need to stick to what is honest and true.

I remember looking at cards and everysingle one made me cry! Absolutely nothing quite applys to what your feeling on that first anniversary after d-day.

one thing my counselor keept telling me was that the olive branch is stronger than the hurt. make the anniversary about the progress you have made not about the hell you have been through.

This is an issue we all deal with. We have an anniversary coming up, too. I want to subtract the 3.5 years my H was having his affair. It makes me so sad. We are still together, but sometimes I think, what is there to celebrate?!

I think the best thing to do is just ask your H what he thinks you should do. Put it on him.

I've stopped being the Go-To Girl, the one with all the solutions. It's been very liberating. I just turn to my H now and ask what he thinks.

Our anniversary is coming up soon to and the betrayal is still fresh. Even tho it happened a year ago I just found out a month or so ago. Considering it will be 20 years and he has never remembered the day we have never celebrated it so why bother now :/

My husband had his first full sexual encounter with his OW the afternoon before our 24 wedding anniversary so our anniversaries are always going to be tainted by that fact which I can't imagine that I will ever forget. We tried to make a big thing of our 25th (the first after Dday) for the family's sake but certainly my heart was not in it. I felt at the time that our marriage had ended at 24 years. I feel a little better now but our 26th is coming in early September and we have no plans that I know of, perhaps he will surprise me but I am not holding my breath.... I will not plan anything, that is for sure.

Thanks everyone for replying. What a shitty bond we all have. It means the world to get everyone's feedback and know I'm not alone though. After discussing it, we are going to focus on what we have worked on, and what we will continue to work on moving forward. It will definitely be different from our last anniversary though. I like the saying the "olive branch is stronger than the hurt" i am going to keep that in mind.

Wishing everyone well today.