I am so sorry. Of course you are devastated! I would be as well.

So he is a father now. And he will be tied to the baby's mother f o r e v e r.

He is being dismissive of you and your feelings.

So what's the question? Is it when do you file for divorce? I'd say as soon as you can!

Go see a lawyer immediately.

I would call the realtor and tell her you are putting the house back on the market and tell her why.

He cheated because he wanted to. It has nothing to do with you. He had availability and accessibility plus there was a slut who wanted to destroy your marriage. Now it is time for you to sweep them all out of your life and create a wonderful life for yourself.

It worse then that, He was already tied to the whore she was the mother of his other children!!! He divorced her and met me. She has been jealous and trying to get him back every since. I fully believe he participated more then he claims, but like all cheaters he swears he didn’t and he wants only me. He didn’t go to any doctor appointments, the delivery, to see it in NICU - nor has he signed the birth certificate. But he said it’s his and he has to be a father to it when it gets older. Am I being unreasonable to tell him me or the bastard child. The white trash whore thinks it’s funny. I think 1/2 the reason I’ve not filed is because I don’t want her to get what she’s after, to split us up.
He could leave me and go to her, but he hasn’t. Trust me I’m no peach to live with these days. When I’m not yelling I’m crying. God divorce would so much simpler, can anyone tell me why I can’t bring myself to do it!!!

You must like the drama.

They are a family and you are the interloper.

It's time to end the drama, see a lawyer, and move on with your life.
This is hell.

The ex-wife has him for the rest of his life. He is not marriage material and the drama will continue as long as you are with him.

If you still can't leave then I would agree you are either addicted to the drama or you have a codependency problem.

Either way this guy is poison and he will never treat you as a priority.

Time to get a lawyer. The ex and the kids will drain his finances and yours. That's not your responsibility.

I hate the drama. I just didn’t want to admit failure. But you’re probably right, I’m the piece that doesn’t fit.

You don't want to fit in that train wreck of a life he has made for himself. You want to fit in a healthy relationship with a decent human being.

Get rid of him ASAP.
Let her have his ass.
You gotta know you deserve better!

I never recommend divorce as a first option. But in your case, I will make an exception. I don't know how you got yourself into that situation, but you would be wise to exit it as soon as possible. Unless you are excited by the prospect of unending drama for the rest of your life, the absolute LAST thing you want to do is have a child with this man. He is NOT worth it. NFW. It isn't a matter of admitting "failure," rather you should rejoice that you escaped before the situation became inescapable!

You have to draw a line under it, take some control and walk away .... he's not your problem anymore. Hold your head high, you deserve better than him, and whilst your in the situation that your in, your not moving on. You have to take the bull by the horns and take some control of your life. Good Luck

I understand your desire to keep her from “winning”. What you may not realize is that she doesn’t win if they end up together. They both started their relationship on a foundation of lies. What qualitiy of relationship can they truly have? They deserve each other and you deserve much more. You deserve a healthy and honest relationship. Only you can decide who fits that bill.