Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Yes, you read that right!! My soldier bf had an affair with another female soldier while deployed and now she is pregnant. I feel like my situation is dfifferent from all the stories I have read on this site, but then again at the same time it sounds the same.
I confronted my bf three times about his relationship with this gal and he denied it each time. After doing some stalking. . .er, research...I found she was pregnant. At this time, I confronted her and asked her what the deal was at the end of June. At that time, she told me it was my bf.
She knew about me the whole time and was hoping my bf would break up with me and go to her. Initially, I kicked him out of my house and we broke up. We are since working on our relationship. He is currently going to a counselor, speaking with his units chaplain, together we have met with his chaplain, and we started attending church regularly. He really wanted to work on our relationship and is trying everything he knows how. I must at admit, we have days that are awesome and the affair and pending birth isn't on the fore front of my brain. But then there are other days where Im like. . ."what the hell am I doing with this guy who cheated on my and got some chick pregnant?"
I think I may be more understanding than the average cheated "spouse" cause I cheated on a by years ago. I understand how one lie turns into two and then that turns into 20. Plus, with my current bf and this affair being overseas, im sure it was very easy to compartmentalize all of this. Not giving him excuses, but I think I might be more sympathetic than some.
Im just wondering if there are others who have been in my situation.
Currently, the other gal doesn't want anything to do with my bf. . but will that change when the baby is born, etc?? If we stay together, how do I explain this baby that appears in our life, when any can do the math and realize it was concieved during our relationship?
Its amazing though how this A has taken over my life. . .the whole year he was gone has been tarnished cause I feel like everything deployment related is also related to her now.
Man, I can go on forever so I better stop.
Thanks for reading.
I confronted my bf three times about his relationship with this gal and he denied it each time. After doing some stalking. . .er, research...I found she was pregnant. At this time, I confronted her and asked her what the deal was at the end of June. At that time, she told me it was my bf.
She knew about me the whole time and was hoping my bf would break up with me and go to her. Initially, I kicked him out of my house and we broke up. We are since working on our relationship. He is currently going to a counselor, speaking with his units chaplain, together we have met with his chaplain, and we started attending church regularly. He really wanted to work on our relationship and is trying everything he knows how. I must at admit, we have days that are awesome and the affair and pending birth isn't on the fore front of my brain. But then there are other days where Im like. . ."what the hell am I doing with this guy who cheated on my and got some chick pregnant?"
I think I may be more understanding than the average cheated "spouse" cause I cheated on a by years ago. I understand how one lie turns into two and then that turns into 20. Plus, with my current bf and this affair being overseas, im sure it was very easy to compartmentalize all of this. Not giving him excuses, but I think I might be more sympathetic than some.
Im just wondering if there are others who have been in my situation.
Currently, the other gal doesn't want anything to do with my bf. . but will that change when the baby is born, etc?? If we stay together, how do I explain this baby that appears in our life, when any can do the math and realize it was concieved during our relationship?
Its amazing though how this A has taken over my life. . .the whole year he was gone has been tarnished cause I feel like everything deployment related is also related to her now.
Man, I can go on forever so I better stop.
Thanks for reading.
You must realize this OW will be in you BF life forever via a child, can you live with this.
If you marry and have family support for this child will take food out of your family mouth.
You have no baggage in this issue and indeed it may be good thing to move on.
Hugs to you.
I think if you leave you'll be able to look back someday and be glad that you did. It's too much stress, especially for not even being married yet.
Is pregnant too. It DOES add an element that is more difficult to the healing process. You can still cut off all contact with him and his ow. Everything can be discussed through you or a third party. It's what I'm doing and it's very possible. He will never speak to or see
Her again.
It does make the affair something that cannot be pushed into the recesses of the mind though . Monthly reminders for life are in store. Keeping my family together is worth it for me though. I have invested 10 years of marriage and many more years of dating to my husband and we have 3 children together.
He would be lost without us.
From the military perpective, this other girl and child, will always be on his DEERS as dependents, the disbursing officer will split his housing allowance and give it to them (mandated by law). Money right out your pocket, until he retires. His CO will make sure that there is a child support allotment out his pay, until the day he retires.
Right now you have strong emotional ties, not legal or military ones. Think long term, think personal and military where you want to be 10 or 20 years from now. Be happy for YOU, not others.
Violet
Run........you don't want to start out with deceit.
I would strongly consider the option to walk away since you do not have a marriage or children to consider. However, if your decision is to stay then stop by the page I mentioned. Pregnancy is no more of a betrayal than cheating. It is simply what happens when two people have careless sexual encounters. If any bs here wants to believe that their spouse atleast had the decency to wear protection, they are likely mistaken.
After an afair is discovered tere are many risk factors that need to be taken into consideration such as std's and pregnancy.
The main factor here is if you can handle the increased pain and intensity of the roller coaster you are on. M
There are many bs who are working through what you are dealing with. The oc in my case is now 9 which is the same age ad my youngest. Yup, we were pregers at the same time. I didn't find out about oc until he was 7 and H and I were already seperated. I have forgiven through a very long painful process that took a lot of work from both of us.
We are still a work in progress and I do not regret my decision to stay.
If you know the serenity prayer then say it and hear the words. If you don't, then look it up and again, hear the words.