My thoughts is there is still something there. Sorry you’re going through this... but I would get out of the relationship now before she cheats again and leaves you.

Yeah no way can things work until she completely cuts ties with her ex. If my husband was talking to the OW still I wouldn't even attempt to work things out with him. If there is nothing going on why do they still need to have contact?

Get out! Are they divorced? They apparently not being done being married!

Get out! Are they divorced? They apparently not being done being married!

Agreed with the others. She still has a fill blown affair. That s why you had to block her and are not allowed to talk to her. So she can hide it. If she was remorsefull of her cheating age would do anything to ease your pain which would mean cutting all ties. After cheating it is not possible to reconcile if ties are not 100 percent cut.
She seems not interested in ur feelings she cares more about the exes feelings and her own ego than urs. Not a good thing. She's cheating on you. Please get STD tested asap and leave

If she didn't matter anymore, why would she still care about her as a friend? Why is still going over there to "hang out". If she doesn't matter anymore and she is 100% committed to you she would do whatever you needed her to do to prove that. She won't cut communication because she wants the best of both worlds. Honestly right now the best thing for you and your sanity would be to get out, do not get married you're just setting yourself up for more heartbreak. You deserve better and eventually after you let her go you will realize that and tnerifgt person will come along.

It's been 6 months since it happened. But she only told me about it in July. I'm still trying to cope and get over it and this is the one point that she won't give on. She's stopped seeing her since she told me about it. She states that she doesn't talk to her often and that she won't block her because she is crazy and will just text her from somebody else's phone. IDK why that matters. So what if she does. At least you made the attempt and you can just ignore her if she texts from somebody else's phone or profile. I'm clean of stds by the way. I was recently tested. And I want to fight for this woman. I do. She's amazing to me and to my kids. I don't know if issuing an ultimatum will do anything. I'm just feeling lost.

I totally get where you are coming from I really really do, but first it has been 6 month since it happened that you know of, if they are still in contact it may of happened more recently than she is telling you. If she is so crazy and will continue to contact her have her get a restraining order, why won't she change her phone number? You said it happened 6 months ago but you also said she was still hanging out with her for months afterwards so clearly they only stopped hanging out recently. She needs to tell her she is with you and committed to you and that she needs to leave her alone. If she can't stand up for you and cut ties with her ex there is no way you will ever be able to move on, the relationship can't work if she is still around. I'm sorry but amazing people do not cheat, trust me right now I would not say my husband is amazing. Also she should be the one fighting for you and your relationship you shouldn't be the one fighting for her. Why should she cut ties if she knows you won't leave, if she knows you will continue to fight for her. Focus on you and your children right now, let her be the one fighting. I'm not trying to be harsh I'm really not, but you need to let her take responsibility for what she has done and stop defending her and making excuses. Let her prove herself and her commitment now.

I agree with "whatnow" she cheated on you. Only told you in July and cheaters never admit the truth so there was a full affair at least till July. Maybe she hasn't seen her since but I suspect she just hides it better now. I'm sorry you deserve so much better. This is not the type of behaviour u want around ur kids growing up. It teaches them it's ok to treat ur partner with disrespect and it's ok to let urself be treated as a doormat.
She cheated on you. A remorsefull cheater does whatever it takes to fix their mistake there is no such thing as "the only thing she doesn't give in on" yes give an ultimatum absolute blockage and change numbers. Block on all social media and zero contact. If she says no to that she is still cheating or will cheat again some time in the future. If she says yes to that than you may have a chance.
She is not in the position to make demands she cheated. But u need to set the consequences if she doesnt follow ur uktimatum than u need to kick her out. If u don't you teach her she .can treat u as a door mat.
Also cheating is not something to "just get over " it's severe pain and trauma it takes a long time. Healing can only start if the CS is 100 percent all in not still half involved witb the ex