Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

4,945 Members

18,074 Posts

0 Online

cbazan 05/27/2011

Hey DS family. I haven't posted in a minute, but I'm always here. I don't post I GUESS because when I wash my hands of you. I simply wash my hands of you. I have absolutely no contact with me ex....sad huh when we have a new baby. Well he is now 8 months old. His grandmother comes to get him twice a week so his sperm donor can spend time with him. She also gets him every Friday and I won't get him back until Sunday after 6 because the weekend is when I open my boutique for business. After the louse had the nerve to laugh in my face and I bitch slapped him..I went on and haven't looked back. But I don't understand where I am at with that. How can you love someone and then all of a sudden feel NOTHING? I don't understand why I don't worry about who he is with anymore. I question if I loved him at all or was I just caught up in lust. Or am I in shock and am unable to feel anything. It's confusing. I'm not complaining though. I don't miss waking up in the middle of the night sometimes 2 times during the night. I don't miss crying. I don't miss that pinch in the pit of my stomach. I'm just really surprised how easily I did an about face and haven't ventured back. Can anyone help me to understand where I am in the blank space?

3GuysMom 05/27/2011

I think you've just moved on from that relationship. You no longer feel any attachment emotionally to him. Good for you! When you meet the right person and you're ready, I suspect you'll feel those things again. Hugs!

lance139169 05/27/2011

In my opinion you have simply moved on to the next step in the recovery process. You have reached the point where you can see things objectively and rationally. I know its easy to be confused when we feel a sudden change in our emotions, but this is a change you should embrace.

cbazan 05/27/2011

Very Very weird...but I am embracing. It's just SCARY I guess is the word I'm looking for. I mean at one time all I could do was cry and say, "How am I gonna make it without my best friend". We were inseparable for 2 years straight. I mean when I say we were GLUED at the hip that's an understatement. We used the same cell-phone cause we didn't go anywhere without the other. I own my own boutique (small but it's mine) , so he was with me daily assisting with that. And now it's as if he never existed. I have removed all his photos although I haven't destroyed them. I use to block my number and dial his cell just to hear his voice or to see if phone was off. If phone is off he's probably laid up with a little girl and can't have his other hoes calling. And in the beginning I would literally park my car where I knew he hung out so I could see if he would be alone or with a chick. I don't even think about him anymore and I just find that extremely sad and weird all in one seeing as we have a new baby. Thanks guys for helping me gain a bit of clarity.

deleted_user 05/27/2011

I think your new (little) guy is way better for you and much cuter too! Sounds as though you have re- focused your energies and heart on much more rewarding and deserving people (yourself and your son). ((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))!

distancemj 05/27/2011

Some people have a easy time turing on and off their feelings. I am very much that way. It is a protective measure that many people have to keep themselves from getting hurt. Is it a good thing? no maybe not, but it saves a lot of that hurt and heart ache in the short term. Allowing you to focus on things (in your case your new baby) that need the attention and focus.

deleted_user 05/27/2011

I kind of agree with distance...I think it is a protection mechanism. The deeper the love, the more the betrayal hurts. It's so much easier to feel anger or hate or even nothing than it is to endure the incredible sadness and loss. Maybe this is your mind's way of protecting you from something that's just too overwhelming.

I'm not sure how long past dd you are, but like the other's said maybe you're just past it and are moving on. Either way, I'm very happy for you because whether or not it's blocking out emotions or being over emotions, it's better for you to not be miserable every second of every day.

Whatever it is that's causing this, I have no doubt you'll work your way through it. You're a strong, smart woman, and you're being a great mother to that cute little baby. Lots of love and support~

Join the Conversation