Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I caught my husband with OW in January and I kicked him out. He readily went. it has been 8 weeks now and I have been crying and grieving ever since.
He comes home to get his mail and we talk every couple of days. Am I fooling myself when I let him kiss me and hug me and tell me that he loves me? Am I fooling myself when I think that he will come back to me???
He tells me he loves me daily. Yet he doesn't come home to me. He goes back to the OW with 5 children. I am jealous that he takes her out on dates and not me.
I am still sick over this break in our marriage. I recently notified my attorney to stop the divorce because I cannot stop grieving. Am I fooling myself????
He comes home to get his mail and we talk every couple of days. Am I fooling myself when I let him kiss me and hug me and tell me that he loves me? Am I fooling myself when I think that he will come back to me???
He tells me he loves me daily. Yet he doesn't come home to me. He goes back to the OW with 5 children. I am jealous that he takes her out on dates and not me.
I am still sick over this break in our marriage. I recently notified my attorney to stop the divorce because I cannot stop grieving. Am I fooling myself????
"He goes back to the OW with 5 children."
How over does it have to be for you?
Are you seeing a therapist who can help you deal with your loss?
Call the lawyer back, finalize that divorce.
Yes, this is heartbreaking. I feel for you. But your H has made a decision. The best thing for you to do is to accept it and make a life for yourself.
Hard reality, and I know it is very very painful. I wish you peace as you move on with your life, which is what needs to happen. If possible, I would stop contact with your H altogether (find another way to get his mail to him like leaving it somewhere).
Cutting contact off with him...
...will help you heal, taking you off the roller coaster ride you are on. This is big. The sooner you begin the healing process the better. You cannot heal with him toying with your heart. Do not allow this.
...may be a huge wake-up call to your H that he cannot continuing having his cake and eating it too. If deep down he loves you he WILL come back if he figures out that you are moving on without him otherwise.
Also, very importantly---you need to stick to your guns on cutting contact in order for it to accomplish anything. That takes strength.
Just my thoughts--I wish you comfort and strength in the days ahead.
Here is a link to a post with the 180...read them, live by them
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/2591291-180
You won't be able to stop grieving until you come to a resolution. If he is gladly living with the OW, then you are fooling yourself to think otherwise. Of course he still loves you and wants good things for you, but what you want he can't provide, and by waiting for him to come back, is going to prolong your grief and it will domino into anger, hatred, sub-zero self esteem, depression, et al, and it will affect every aspect of your life.
If he were to dump her, come back to you, go no contact, beg for your forgiveness, tell you that what he did was wrong, take all the blame for it, every ounce, and commit to making it up to you, then perhaps there's a chance for reconciliation, but without this, you're prolonging your pain by believing otherwise.
I wish you well.
I'm trying to deal with it the best way I can.