Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Last night I was on Facebook looking at that section that says, "Do you know these peole?" I came across a page that had my husband of 15 years with another woman. He goes to conferences, so I thought it was a clipped pic (part of a group pic). It was just him and her and there was a pic of him kissing her. He is out of town, so I texted him. When he got back to me he admitted he has been having an affair for 6 years. He says it is because he is polyamorous, but if that was the case he would have brought the idea to me, not been sneaking around, and she does not know he is married. We have a 12-year-old special needs son. Here is where I may be crazy. I was crying, but there was no yelling or anything. He wants to stay with both of us. I told him he has responsiblity to our son to keep our home in tact until he is independent. So, if he wants to keep her, fine. We continue living as we are. Our son knows nothing. We have no intimate relationship. We work for the beneift of our son. Instead of working toward retiring together, we work toward paying off all our bills so when the time comes we walk away freely. We be polite and we make sure our son is our first priority. If he wants to stay with me, then we can work on our marriage. He agreed, but said he needed 2 weeks to make a decision. I told him he had 3 days. And, if he chose to stay with her, then I am free to find someone else as well. I hate this. I keep crying, and I can't seem to think straight. I'm going to be 52 in October. I never thought I would be here. I asked him what was wrong with our marriage. He said our marriage is fine. 6 years ago when he started this, he felt alone. Well six years ago, we had just found out our son had Autism and ADHD along with a memory processing disorder. My attention was on him. I felt alone too, but I remember having conversations about how tough it was and that it would pass. It did. Thanks for letting me vent. I don't have anyone else to talk to.
Sorry to hear that about your son, your husband has no excuse, none.
Now is the time for you to continue to work on yourself and start the healing process.
Only you know what you can live with, but be sure to take care of yourself first. You have to stay healthy and happy then your son will follow.
Seek out counseling and continue to vent.
Dont hold in your anger or your sadness.
Your H has been leading a double life and wants to continue. Huh?
The first thing you need to do is see a lawyer; do not tell your H. You can bet he has already been to see one.
Then you might just need a forensic accountant. You can bet he has been spending marital assets on this double life.
Next tell people and you can start with the other woman. Send her a picture of your son, too. Why should she remain in the dark?
Then cry your eyes out if you need to.
I think that living with this liar until your son is 18 is going to drive you out of your mind. Here is where a good lawyer can help you out. You are not the only wife who has a lying, cheating son-of-a-bitch husband. You are not the only mother who wants what is best for her kid(s).
Start setting money aside. Document things right now! Get your hands on your past bank statements, etc. Set aside your past tax returns. The lawyer and accountant will need this info. Be sure you own your H's life insurance policy. Check to see who his beneficiaries are. There is so much you need to do to protect yourself.
Why are you being so generous? This jerk needs to pay you alimony! In most states everything is 50-50, debts and assets, so start spending! And start hiding your assets. Again, you can bet your lying husband is doing this.
Be smart. You do not need to be understanding. He lies. Do not believe him.
Good luck! And be sure you tell the other woman!
Don’t believe anything he says, because he has been lying to you for 6 years ( or more). There is nothing stopping him from taking you to the cleaners financially.
Easier said than done, but shove the hurt aside and approach this with cold hard logic. Get a lawyer today and make a contract with this man that will hold him accountable to his financial obligations for the rest of his life.
Finding a partner while parenting a special needs child will not be an easy task, but you deserve to be happy. Divorce him and it would be best to get him out of the house. He can visit with your child and parent him without having to live with you.
Hugs
Good luck
He has her sucked in over her head with the bullshit. I have a feeling if she knew the truth, she would not be acting this way.
Again, don’t believe what he says. She may not even know that he is still living with you.
Consider it God’s help taking him off your hands..
I am so happy that you are making plans.
This is going to be really hard, but you are parenting a special needs child, and this is harder than any bullshit with the husband. If you can handle this task, you can handle this a—hole like a pro.
Remember that you have nothing to do with the choices he made. You did nothing to deserve this behavior.
I m sure that you are a good woman and another man will be happy to have you as his partner.
However, it seems that 6 years ago he couldn't keep up the façade of himself any longer and has shown who he really has been all these years.
The mark of a good potential spouse isn't how he handles good times but how well he suffers in terms of coping.
Don't beat yourself up about what you could have done differently because in the end it is his character issue. You focused on helping your son, while he focused on helping himself.