Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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/ Infidelity Support Group

a year later and still healing, but difficult

chewdy
chewdy
I thought that the healing would be a lot easier than it is. D Day has past and this past few weeks has been really difficult to deal with. All the feelings that I was having a year ago with dealing with the A, H was found out to be having , have all surfaced again. I try really hard not to think about it all but it's in my thoughts almost daily. H has started counseling by himself ( as a part of our agreement to repair this marriage and I really am glad he has started.
I continue to do my own sessions without hm right now.

We renewed our vows March 26 and that seemed to give me a fresh start , but I don't know why I feel so sad these past few weeks.Our official anniversary is this Monday the 26 and I am not sure I want to celebrate it?????

I think I am just feeling all this because a year ago our whole marriage was shaken by the A H was caught in.
Thanks for listening, I just needed to get this off my chest, because I feel like I am having doubts about staying in this marriage , It feels like I will have these thoughts forever and I want so much to move forward.
deleted_user
deleted_user
my advice: keep going to counselling, and tell your counseller everything including what you just posted on here....
deleted_user
deleted_user
My wife is in the same boat. It has been a year since my affair. For her it is like someone ripped the wound open again. I deal with it by giving her space but pray for the day it starts to subside. I beat myself up for what i have done to her and my children. I work hard everyday in my counseling and at home. She tells me everyday that it will pass. Good luck and im here to answer questions if it will help you.
Lstecker
Lstecker
Hmmm, those year anniversaries are hard. Hell, any anniversary that marks these terrible events sucks.

Well, I'll say this...I used to call them my dark rooms. Even after the divorce and well into my own life with my kids, those dark rooms would take over for a bit - or - in my mind, I used to say, 'I have to stop in for a bit.' I used to give them some time - allow them a day or two - for me to visit them, go over things, think on them, realize what happened, let it sink in again, and then? I would force myself to leave those dark rooms again. I felt as if I had to visit once in awhile - or they would swallow me whole.

Chewdy, when we go thru something like this, it doesn't just pass away. We go thru it many times - but the force of it is never as powerful as the first time. Healing can be a painful process. Does that make sense?

I am sorry you are sad for a time here. Remind yourself, as I do and did for a long time - 'it was hell, but I am still standing.'

You are too.

Sending support, L~