Hello all, I am new to this Support World. My boyfriend of ten years and I have broken for good today. My decision. I found out that he had cheated on me the day before my birthday this past October. I did not find out from him but from the girl over a month and a half later through email. The emotions and feelings were indescribable. He had been my everything for a decade, we have quite a history. The day after I found out he showed me the engagement ring of my dreams, he had also shown my Father this ring a month before the incident. It meant nothing to me. I stayed for months dying of anxiety attacks and panic everyday. I literally would have to interrogate him daily for the information I deserved and questions I needed answers too. He was always angry and brief when discussing it. He said I was mentally weak to believe what the other girls email said and not him. He could never give me a definitive time frame to when it stated or why or why he even really did it until later on. It was my fault he was unsatisfied and unhappy. I wasn’t around much because he is always at work and gets home late and only takes one day off a week. We haven’t had a relationship for years not even a picture on the wall, nothing. He’s always working, I'm always alone. Even on his days off he had his own plans. He never took me around his family much, if at all. Due to cultural differences and formalities. He didn't want to let me go but at times he did because I kept bringing up the incident because I needed to talk about it. It all became way too much to handle and deal with for my heart and my soul so I had to make a decision to leave and move on with my life but I'm suffering and I'm in pain and I feel that I've lost the love of my life. He wanted to work it out in the last days he said he would do anything to keep me and I never had to worry about infidelity or anything again but the damage is done in the years of having no relationship ways on a person. He always said that he never had a partner and then I was a bad girlfriend and I did not for fill his needs and he was not happy he would break up with me but it would never last. Unfortunately he was a wonderful provider and gave me everything material but you could imagine the house was his the cars were his everything even though they were intended for me and us I always felt bad about it. I never asked for him to be the provider of the relationship nor by me the world I just wanted his time go on a date every now and then with the years continue to pass and he was money hungry and wanted to build his career. I can't blame him he's young and determined and I admire that but he was busy building a life and not having one with me and now I don't have him anymore because I believe that I don't want to start a marriage with someone that I've done that to me. For months after I found out all he would say is I still have the ring and I still want to marry you it's still on the table but you have to let go of what happened did not talk about it anymore ever that wasn't the case and I couldn't do it because we needed to understand what it happened to prevent it or at least I did his anger get the best of him every time and he could never have a conversation about it without it being so heated. I feel like I've lost my heart and my only chance. Because I feel like he is the love of my life.