Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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amethyst80 11/17/2008

Ok, so this is a long story with a lot of details I will most likely leave out. My H had an affair in May of this year. Which resulted in the OW claiming she is carrying his baby. My H wans a DNA test done of course. However, if the test show it is his baby then we no longer have anything to work out. The promblem lies with my H's EX-Wife. She feels because they share a 12year old together, that this is her business. She has sent em-mails asking my H if he can handle just hearing about his baby, and that he will never have the bond that he did while she was PG. Now she in institing that the 12 know about the baby, even before there is proof that it is indeed his. The EX is now buddy buddy with the OW. The EX has also never liked me, because I am better then her, because of me my H has owned a home and moved in to the middle class lifestyle, unlike her who strugles from day to day. My question here is how the hell am I suppose to get passed this crap if she is alway involed in my personal life, I have voiced my opion about it it on several occasions and there have been some changes, but she just doesn't repect my or My H wishes. Does she have a right to be involed because of thier kid together am I being selfish here. I don't know what the future holds for me and my H, we can get passed this if the kid is not his. Please anyone have advice for me?

deleted_user 11/17/2008

How is it his EX found out in the first place? And no I don't think the 12 yr old needs to know anything until it's proven one way or the other if he is the bio dad, and it's none of the Ex's business anyway, but the children may have a right to know they are siblings, but that's up to your H on how he wants to handle it. But you're stuck btwn a rock and hard place with his ex having a kid of his and now OW possibly having one, do the two of you have any together?
In our case after H broke it off with OW, she tried to get him to feel something for her by telling him she was prego but when he still rejected her she tried another approach and cried to him that she lost the baby. Me and H lost our first one together yrs ago and he had told her that was a big bond for us so she figured she would try use that angle to get him to feel something for her, didn't work. I don't know what I would do if there was a baby, I'm just so thankful there isn't. So don't make any major decisions until you know for sure unless of course you don't plan on sticking around regardless.

deleted_user 11/17/2008

The ex sounds like as much of a trouble maker as the OW and now you say they are buddies... uh oh. I would be VERY CONCERNED about what these two could be up to!!! As long as your H is on your side (which it sounds like he is), you two can win the battle against these whores! Why in the WORLD would the mother of the 12 yr old want her pre-teen daughter (who likely has enough drama of her own at that age) involved in all of this. Any good mother will protect their child from this as much as possible. They would stay FAR AWAY from the OW and would keep everything hush hush until the DNA is completed. Then, the ex needs to BACK OFF and allow Dad and you to explain the situation. It is not mom's place to say anything to the 12 yr old until she KNOWS that the child will have a biological sibling. Even then, she needs to give you and your H a chance to tell her before she does it.

amethyst80 11/17/2008

The EX found out because the OW's friend told her in hopes that MY H would choose the OW. No me and my H do not have any kids together, and we don't want anymore (well at least I don't)I did some investagating today and found out the the OW is still living with her H and are very happy together, and he thinks it is is kids. If that is the case, why would she be telling the EX that it is not?

deleted_user 11/17/2008

Oh Good Lord! Whew! What a nightmare! How old are these women?!?! They are acting like they are teenagers with not a shred of maturity between the two of them. I will be praying like crazy that this child DOES belong to the psycho OW's H. It would be so great if this lady just stays as HIS problem and does not become yours for a lifetime! You have enough with the ex. Although, now that the OW has been close to your H in the past, she may never give up (especially since being MARRIED does not stop her from going after your H). In other words, she had him once, she can get him again. That is the way whores think. I just wish you the best of luck with this nightmare of a situation! My prayers are SO with you!

amethyst80 11/17/2008

Thanks, The EX is doing in hopes that she can still controll my H, when they were married she slept with all of his so called friends. She doesn't have the 12year old feeling in mind at all. This last sunday was the EX's new husband's Bday and She forgot to tell the 12 year old about the party, had it not been for me asking my H if the 12 year old need to be home early and us calling, she would have missed it. I hate that i am such a caring person.

deleted_user 11/17/2008

I know the feeling. Don't you feel out of place? All the other people your H has been with are rediculous and crazy and then there is you. I even started wondering if I was crazy for a few years but then, everything began falling into place. If you can stand it long enough to get there, I am sure everything will work itself out. :)

deleted_user 11/18/2008

Nope, she has no right to be involved. Your husband is quite frankly going to have to tell his ex wife to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

deleted_user 11/18/2008

oiy,oiy,oiy, and both OW and EX are married, what a couple of trouble making B's. I hope for your sake that baby is OW's H, but the other question is does he know his W is a cheating B? You know I have really come to hate people who cheat,it just makes me fume and how are the kids involved in such ugliness going to learn any morals if they don't see it exampled for them?

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