Whoa....

Where there's smoke, there's fire. Teddy, I would be paying a huge amount of attention to this also.

Could be that it's just me, but I don't think a straight man, a totally straight man, dabbles around looking for other men. Could he be bisexual?

Sending my support. Hoping for the best for you, L~

Sounds like he is not ready to admit to himself what is going on. Maybe you will need solid proof to confront him with, don't back down until he admits his guilt and then maybe you can move on from there. I'm not sure what you do if he is bisexual. I guess a therapist can hel you hash that out. Good luck.

Whoa, same response.

a) you're NOT crazy and b) if you can rise above that emotional barrier, you might just see a glimpse of reality.

However, lets give the guy a chance. There are many husbands who will never act on their movements, there's a very grey area between black and white. Now you need to figure out where he's at. So far, he hasn't told you the truth, so you're on a back foot to start with, so with the trust missing, you're behind the ball game. If he can be honest, you might be able to really sit down and work this one out. However, the FACTS are, he has been looking at a dating site, and in saying that its' been men on men. That's infedility in my book, no matter how you look at it. So it's time to address it, maybe it's just curiosity and it was never going to go any further, and maybe it's not. The rest is up to you - and him.

Good luck, I don't envy you going through the next phase.

I dont blame you at all for not being able to perform. Who would be able to? Thats just not something I would ever, under any circumstances be able to overlook. I know that, because it happened to me in my lifetime. ( and fyi, my ex was in fact bisexual but REFUSED to admit it. he was sleeping with other men).

You are going to have to protect yourself here. I agree that there is a fine line between curiosity and actually acting on something. Theres alot of things in life we can help someone with. Sexuality isn't one of them. They are who they are. He OWES you the truth. If he isn't willing to give that much to you and LET you decide if you want to be with someone who is just curious OR who actually is bisexual, then by all means- take yourself away from him before he gives you a disease.

I find it REALLY shitty when someone's betrayal and lives paves our destiny for us. You have the RIGHT to decide if you wish to stay with him or not. He has the duty to give you the information that you need to make a decision. Who cares if its biased. I don't know about you, but I couldn't remain with a man that had slept with or was sleeping with other men.

Some people won't be intimate with ugly people, fat people, bald people- you name it. You won't hear any shit from me about your concern. You have every right to be concerned, and very at that.

I think we all deserve to know who we are with.

It sounds like you have real reason for concern. But I think your making a mistake by confronting him every time you see some thing suspicious. Just to use the web page issue you mentioned. If you didn't ask him. You could have cleared the cookies and check again in a couple of days. If you see a lot of things like this you would have your answer. Now if he is cheating or planning to he will be very careful.

I have a question, what if he has never cheated or planned to But is Bisexual. Would you kick him to the curb ?

Hi teddy, im sorry you are going thru this. Thru my recent experience, i have learned that our intution about men in our lives are also true. I had feelings and thoughts of my ex cheating on me. we were together for a year and he was always full of excuses. I worried about him with men too being that he lived across from a gay man who always flirted with him, and to make matters worse, we were long distance for the last 6 months of our relationship. After doing some digging, I found out that he was a total liar, and he gave me a disease that i will have to live with for the rest of my life. He knew he had it and gave it to me anyways. Cnt beleive people could be so cruel.

What your gut is telling you might be true. He might not be actually sleeping with men, but im sure he is curious about it. You never know what men are doing when they leave the house and are not with you. No matter what they tell you. I just hope you take precaution especially for your health. i hope what happened to me will never happen to anyone else. What happens in the dark will come to light..and just like me, if you do enough digging, put the puzzle together, you will see the truth. Peace and love!!!

I agree with L and Betrayed. Where there is smoke,there is fire. This is not a 'one time' thing. He continues to lie about this when you ask him. Have yourself tested. At this point, you don't really know what's going on in his 'other' life. You have some decisions to make.

To Whoisshe..

The answer to your question is a resounding YES, I would kick him to the curb - hard and fast. I would never sign up for that kind of shit. That's the kind of information you tell someone upfront, not after you're married. It's kind of important.

Where there is smoke.......

Sometimes there is no fire, but most die from the smoke inhalation.

If in fact he is gay/bi and/or cheating......he hasn't admitted it in the past....so I doubt he will in the future.

You need to find proof without his knowledge.

Don't mention it again.......install a keylogger on the comp.......and leave the house for a few hours......with the kids.

I suspect u will find your answer sooner rather than later.

Rosi,
I feel Like you just bitch slapped me .... But I have to admit you are right. Some thing like that can be a deal breaker and needs to be revealed up front.
I still stand behind my advise to lay low and watch with out questioning to find out the truth.
One more thing I like you Hard and fast comment kind of goes with your avatar picture.

Not trying to hijack this post but.....

Whoisshe, you made me laugh so hard. No bitch slap intended. We'll save those for the OW/OM!!

I do feel strongly about people who intentionally withhold information about something that could be potentially harmful to another's health. Or, at the very least, would affect someone's ability to make a sound decision.

Still chuckling.....