Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I've been through emotions lately about my husband's cheating. Everyone says he hasn't done it in a while. So try to get past it. My question is how do you get past it when you want to know everything? I mean he's cheated on me when we first got together and cheated on me while I was pregnant and after having our baby. Will there ever be closure if your spouse doesn't talk to you? How do stop thinking about? My hardest part is he works now where he was sexting woman. So I have a hard time while he's at work, trying not to think about it.
lookingforclosure
He needs to understand that if HE hasn't taken steps to rebuild your trust in him, that your marriage is doomed. Having other people tell you, "well, he hasn't cheated on you for at least two months" is pathetic. He doesn't sound like he's doing anything to help you. Cheating on you during, I don't know, the most important times in your relationship (whey you first got together, when you were pregnant, after having your first child)...what's next? He needs to be taking steps, maybe he has, but you haven't mentioned them, but if he's cheating on you at those most special times in your life...using whatever excuse he used (I was adjusting to life with you, so I cheated, you were so hormonal, I had to cheat, you were so focused on our baby, I had to cheat) what happens when you REALLY need him? You can't get past it if he isn't helping. You won't be able to stop thinking about it if he doesn't answer your questions. Hugs to you...you need his help to move on, or else you don't need him at all. Just my two cents.
JessicaLeighton
Lookingforclosure that's what I tell him but he doesn't want to hear it. I agree if he doesn't take steps we are doomed. A marriage doesn't work without trust. Thank you for your advice
lookingforclosure
I'm really sorry you're in this situation. My advice, and again, I know it hurts and it's hard, but I wish I would have done this when my stbx wanted to sweep her 'affair' under the rug, tell me to move on, water under the bridge, and all that: Leave, go no-contact, talk to a lawyer about getting a divorce. I'm not saying you have to get one, but at the least, get advice from a lawyer, and if you have the means, start the process (because once you're ready, it takes FOREVER to actually get done). Get counseling for yourself, and suggest that he do the same. If your husband doesn't think you'll leave him, he'll do just enough to keep you around, and that's not the kind of marriage you want. My wife wouldn't go to counseling until I threatened divorce. After the threat of divorce, she went. But, then she quit. Again, I told her I was going to go forward with divorce, again, she said she'd go to counseling. After finally realizing that she was doing nothing to help me get past it, but expected me to fix all the things I had supposedly done that "led to her affair" - which I bent over backwards to do - she not only continued seeing her AP, but added one. Everybody has their own experiences. Maybe your husband will suddenly snap out of it, and try to own his problems. Until then, you're going to be miserable with him. Be strong. You're better than he's treating you.
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