Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
For a period of time, I had cheated on my boyfriend of 6 yrs. He found out and after asking for details - we broke up a few weeks later. That was just over a year ago (June 2014?)
I sent him emails of heartfelt apology! I was and still am very ashamed of my actions!
For there to be any chance at reconciliation, he wanted to know every detail and he also wanted me to tell my daughters (who are grown up) what happened.
He said he wanted to see 'actions/deeds' - not words!
I didn't think it was necessary for my girls to know exactly what happened but I did tell them that the break up was my fault entirely!
We were still on good terms and saw each other on occasion but strictly as friends.
Now we see each other (date?) more often...but...I want to get back together with him!
A few months back, I told my girls in not so much detail - that I had gotten involved with someone else.
I wrote an email to my parents recently, explaining that our break up was my fault and that I had broken his trust in me.
I don't know what more I can do.
I am truly sorry - for being unfaithful!
I have read stories online, I given it much thought and tried to understand 'why' I did what I did.
If you're the partner was who was betrayed and you stayed together - how did you recover?
If you're the one who cheated - how did you ask for forgiveness? What did you do?
I love him and don't want to give up!!
I let him have his space and time to heal but it's been about a year and a half now.
I would go to counselling but I can't afford it.
So, I just try to look deep within myself to try to understand 'why' I would have done such a hurtful thing.
I know that some couples can get through this...but others can't.
I hope to come out on the positive end of this.
Thanks for your advice!
I sent him emails of heartfelt apology! I was and still am very ashamed of my actions!
For there to be any chance at reconciliation, he wanted to know every detail and he also wanted me to tell my daughters (who are grown up) what happened.
He said he wanted to see 'actions/deeds' - not words!
I didn't think it was necessary for my girls to know exactly what happened but I did tell them that the break up was my fault entirely!
We were still on good terms and saw each other on occasion but strictly as friends.
Now we see each other (date?) more often...but...I want to get back together with him!
A few months back, I told my girls in not so much detail - that I had gotten involved with someone else.
I wrote an email to my parents recently, explaining that our break up was my fault and that I had broken his trust in me.
I don't know what more I can do.
I am truly sorry - for being unfaithful!
I have read stories online, I given it much thought and tried to understand 'why' I did what I did.
If you're the partner was who was betrayed and you stayed together - how did you recover?
If you're the one who cheated - how did you ask for forgiveness? What did you do?
I love him and don't want to give up!!
I let him have his space and time to heal but it's been about a year and a half now.
I would go to counselling but I can't afford it.
So, I just try to look deep within myself to try to understand 'why' I would have done such a hurtful thing.
I know that some couples can get through this...but others can't.
I hope to come out on the positive end of this.
Thanks for your advice!
I don't think you're willing to admit to yourself or your parents or daughters what happened exactly, and that should be your first step. This business of "I broke his trust" just isn't enough. You're skirting around the edges, and that's the feeling he is getting. You're sorry but just not enough to come clean.
A recovering spouse who is willing to reconcile, needs to know all the details, why it happened, why it won't happen again, what measures you've taken, and like he said, actions and deeds, because talk is cheap, and if you're not forthcoming with them, there is no reconciliation.
I wish you well.
But I wouldn't tell your kids or your older parents because some man, who isn't willing to commit to you after 6 years(!?!), wants you to no matter how much you say or think you love him.
If it WAS a spouse, like Lenoire said, my answer may be different...but this guy didn't / doesn't have that level of commitment to you.
And, fairly, if he hasn't come back completely in 18 months, he probably has his own skirt chasing going on.
there are so many places that do sliding scale individual and couples counseling, as well as most churches provide it at no cost.
All that aside, I agree with other postings that the commitment level may not have been there, but I would drive it one point further and say it was probably a joint commitment issue, because you were truly not invested into the relationship if you were cheating, and he may not have been invested into the solid commitment.