Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Divorce

hurtat56
hurtat56
I am 57 and he is 62.We have been married for 27yrs.I have spend my time chasing ow in my marriage.He has cheated on many occasion.He is always hiding cellphones or reading messages in the toilet.I filed for a divorce in 2004 before going overseas,but reconciled with him when I came back for holidays/.I thought he will grow up,but he has gone worse.I discovered that he has a 5 yr old boy with a 32 yr old women.,He owes everbody,having spent it with her.I am planning to file for a divorce,before he goes on pension.He will soon get millions,I am afraid he might surprise me.I pray to God mnothing happens to him,because the other women is only interested in money,lawfully the illegitimate boy and mother stand to benefit.He is an ATM.I MUST GET MY 50%,Am I right.i want out.
KRKing911
KRKing911
Why will he get millions soon?
hurtat56
hurtat56
He is going on pension having worked for over 30yrs,He is now a very senior person at work,with dirt under the carpet.He never paid for my son s education,that is why I went overseas to improve our home.This is what I get,secrete for 6yrs.I think it is payback time,Can you imagine an old fart with a 5 yr old.
KRKing911
KRKing911
Well, I'd go speak to a lawyer first and see what they have to say. Make sure you get a good one...
hurtat56
hurtat56
I have contacted several lawyers,it is easier to attach my 50% to the pension fund than to claim it after he has taken his pension.I have waisted so much time in an abusive marriage,my 2 boys have been affected as they were on drugs.I need prayers and strength to do this.He is not expecting that,I need to be away the day they serve him with the papers.He has always threaten to kill me if I leave him.God protect me!
KRKing911
KRKing911
Well, it seems like you have your plan in place and it's so sad that after all of those years it has to end like this. I am very sorry that you are going through this my dear, but you know him better than anyone else and if you say he is going to get violent, you should get out of there as soon as possible.

I think you will need to be away even after they serve him the papers if he's as abusive as you say he is - you need to protect yourself from harm. Are your boys still living @ home?
hurtat56
hurtat56
Thank you KRKing911-love u
hurtat56
hurtat56
Yes,the boys are staying with us.He only buys food in the house.They are 27 and 22.The 27yr old is trying to move out,but still needs assistance.The 21 yr old is writing final exams,will graduate next year.I must find a job because he pleaded with me to come back home,only to discover he has a child.I would have maybe forgiven him if he had told me.I had to discover it myself,it was so painful,it still hurts!Nobody will ever cause me such pain.Thnx again.Blessings.
caseyk
caseyk
Get a good lawyer. And don't let him slip away. Get 50% and more.
KRKing911
KRKing911
Hurtat56 - I'm understanding that you kicked your husband out, but he begged to come back and you allowed him to only to find out after that he is the father of a 5 year old boy from another woman?

Please play your cards right my dear and don't let emotions get the best of you. You know you want out - what does your lawyer suggest as far as getting him out of the house?

I'm so sorry honey...

There is another group on this website called the Divorce after twenty group. http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/divorceaftertwentyyearstogether

Post your story there - there are a lot of fine people who have been to hell and back and you will be welcomed there.

xxoo - blessing to you.
hurtinandhealin2560
hurtinandhealin2560
Good advice from KRKing. I don't know what state you are from, but go to divorcesource.com and read up on divorce laws in your state. Knowledge is power.

Sending hugs of strength.
Allora
Allora
A friend of mine recently left her husband of 35 years. It was not because of infidelity, but rather because she was tired of being in an abusive relationship. (About time, right!?) In any case, she not only got 50% of his pension, he also must pay her monthly support and he must cover her medical care.

I know every case is different, but a good lawyer should be able to land you about the same sort of settlement.

Take care and good luck.
hurtat56
hurtat56
Wow!I thougth I am stupid to have stayed so long in an abusive marriage..I still have photos of my battered face.I feel so strong now,I deserve his medical aid ,thanks for that!
hurtat56
hurtat56
I did not kick him out,I left him after filing for a divorce.Unfortunately I got a job in Dubai before the court hearing.At that time ,I had to look at my finances to assist the 2 boys..
I have been in tears for 4 months now,and I think it 's about time I wake up an move away from a marriage of pain and humiliation.
The other thing,he is now so jealous and keeps me in doors.He gets angry if I go out with friends.I am now a bitch and an evil person!
South African Law sucks.......very diverse and unpredictable!
Thank you,
Its never too late......
hurtat56
hurtat56
Happy 2013 to all those who responded.to my post last year.....took time to plan my divorce.....pain is better....but I will never forget what my husband did to me.He will never hurt me...EVER.Waiting for my overseas confirmation of a job offer....If I get that.....wow....I am gone.Pray for me!
deleted_user
deleted_user
DO IT. Your lawyer is absolutely right, it's easier to get the 50 percent before pension hits. Before you actually file,look at your bank accts and take the necessary steps to secure your future. Look into his assets and make sure he doesn't transfer anything out of his name. Don't give him a warning before he is served with papers or he will begin transferring assets. Everything you two own and all assets including savings accts,checking accts,401k EVERYTHING, will be discussed. Please write me if you need to. Good luck!